squisher

[squisher]

Hi Lottieblue, yes, i have been to my GP, i am on antidepressants and have been for a while, I’ve have been signed off but upon returning to work got a formal warning about my absence which has just exacerbated the whole thing because If I lose my job, I’ll be trapped here. I just feel like ive got nothing left now, i am just so confused as I used to be so strong minded and confident in what I did. I feel like the whole world has turned against me, i have never felt so frightened in my entire life. I’m so so sorry for being so down, it ends up making people stay away from me when I desperately need them to be there.

[squisher]

I feel so similar to you and its so difficult, i constantly see or hear how people think ive changed him or have made his life a misery, yet when i try and approach people for help and explain the real situation behind closed doors, they retreat and blank me, its like they’re scared of him and unfortunately it’s made me feel so helpless and isolated which just makes leaving feel even harder because I don’t have anyone willing to support me. You really are not alone and it makes me feel so sad to think how many people are stuck in a life like this x

[squisher]

I just wanted to thank you for your messages, i feel so lost and unusual, almost numb, so hard to explain, like I’m looking down on myself from above. I am desperate for some kind of in person support and I so wish I had friends and family to be there but it feels like everyone has turned their backs on me because I haven’t left. I think they’re irritated and frustrated with me and can’t understand why I don’t just get up and leave, im constantly asking myself the same thing and I wish i knew the answer but I feel mentally trapped. When All I want is for someone to be there for me and help me feel strong enough to deal with all this,instead everyone just gets fed up with it. Im extremely confused and absolutely petrified of what’s happening to me, im being sick and having panic attacks daily which just makes him angrier and more frustrated with me i just want this all to stop but don’t know how. I turned (detail removed by moderator) and I feel ive wasted (detail removed by moderator) important years of my life, i was promised a family, marriage, house and now nothing. But still I can’t leave because my stupid pathetic brain won’t let me.

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