Teehee

[Teehee]

IWMB, we’ve never had tension like this for this many days in a row. He came home (detail removed by moderator) with a list of questions in a 30 minute of less amount of time:

(Detail removed by moderator)

After that, we had to pick his daughter up from her evening school activities. He drove over the speed limit, didn’t speak, drove with visibly narrowed eyes, and I think was trying to scare me with his driving. All done in silence.

When we got home, I was getting myself ready for an Alanon meeting. Before I left, I asked him tearfully what was wrong and he sarcastically said, “nothing, but there can be if you there to be”. I left in tears.

When I got home and readied for bed, he sat at the end of the bed and calmly said, as if he was being totally rational and just explaining a truth, that, “(Detail removed by moderator)”.

We’ve only been married a few months and I’m to the point I have a hard time looking at him. I don’t know who he is.

I hope to hear from an advocate today. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want another failed marriage if it can be fixed.

My bowels are screwed up from all of the anxiety. And, as if today were normal (its already started off rough because I didn’t meet his morning expectation), he texts me current events as if everything is right in the world between us.

[Teehee]

HunkyDory,

Thank you for your reply. I’ve been going over in my head things I remember him saying that previously I hadn’t given any real thought to. For instance, he recently told me if I didn’t stop talking he’d make me eat a power drill sitting between us in the car. This fuss was over miscommunication regarding whether a door had been shut or not. There have been other recent arguments, always over dumb things, that he warns me to stop or else. I’m now worried that the “or else” means he will hurt me.

The evening not long ago I flipped my wig crying and screaming, when he tried to calm me I flinched at his touch. With teary eyes he said that it hurt him deeply that I flinched as if he would hit me. Well, he scared me and at this point I don’t know what all he is capable of; maybe they are just threats that will never amount to anything but words and then maybe not and I should be worried.

[Teehee]

I did call a local domestic hotline. I know that he loves me so it feels like I’m betraying him and our marriage doing it. Perhaps I’m blowing things out of proportion. I don’t know.

[Teehee]

Escapee, I don’t know what WA is because I live in the (country removed by moderator).

Yes, he is violent. I’m still shocked that someone who claims they love me and I’m their life can treat me with such rage and hatred. I could understand being mad at me for going to a casino and spending all our money gambling, or if I cheated, but literally it is insignificant things that set him off. I can see on his face when things are going to turn bad.

[Teehee]

IWANTMEBACK, you said something interesting, that these men want to be the center of our attention. This triggered memories of trying to talk on the phone and how he constantly interrupts me with questions that could wait until I’m off the phone. It’s actually very irritating when I’m trying to have a conversation.

I have stood up to him, but when I do it escalates his anger. (detail removed by moderator) weeks ago he was so enraged over nothing that I boiled over screaming and crying like a maniac. That’s not me. I’ve never done such a thing. I was ready to leave; I didn’t want to be anywhere near him but he calmed himself and was shocked I responded that way trying to get me to calm down. He said he was shocked his words could make me so upset and turn purple. It was awful. It took me two days to come down from that episode yet I still feel the sting of his words, anger, and hate filled look toward me. And again, over silliness.

I do have the book by Bancroft and I’m in chapter 1.

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