Thistle06

[Thistle06]

I would say I am in the same boat. Although I saw my ex physically by accident was sick and couldnt stop crying as soon as I could make an escape from the shop. It took me a good couple of days to get to a point where I dont feel that pit of dread in my stomach. It has made me realise that even though Im several years down the line that I am still struggling and in recovery . I am going to seek further help for myself. I think I have PTSD and its manifesting how much abuse I suffered. I would suggest that you try and be kind to yourself and get some help and support. Find someone to speak to whether it be through work related occupational health or through your GP or charity. You are not alone in feeling like this. I hope you can see a way through it

[Thistle06]

I am totally exhausted by it, I’ve been in and out of court for three years and am now being dragged into mediation over the children, he doesn’t actually want them he just wants to pick and chose and come and goes as he pleases. He told me a child arrangement will sort me out.

I just don’t want it anymore – any of it.

I vent all the time – its very hard when you are trying to move forward with someone unreasonable. You just have to keep going towards your future and know that this will one day pass. We are all on a difficult path and I wouldn’t have got through the last three years without this forum. You must keep venting for your own sake and don’t ever give up – its just awful the whole process but I keep saying to myself I survived this far and you must and will too.

[Thistle06]

Thankyou so much for your reply. It is very hard for other people to understand what it is like with the men we have to deal with how insidious they are and how one message or one act can leave you unable to sleep and your stomach in knots.

I’ve created a separate email account now to deal with communication and I have a third party who will assist me. I just do not want anything to do with him. He cannot stand that

My children are happy with the way things are and they are older so a child arrangement order would only apply to one for a relatively short period of time. In my rational head I think any court would leave things as they are there is consistent regular contact and this has been in place for three years. The fact its not working is due to his newish relationship and not me. But he is making this about me. It is hard isnt it. I am hoping between the police incident, and the recent intimidation along with all the other incidents logged since we separated there is enough to show that he has no idea what boundaries are and thinks he can continue to behave any which way he chooses.

I am feeling better as I know what I need to do and I just need to get on with it and it helps to know I am not mad and get re assurance that yes indeed this is their typical behaviour.

I really appreciate the kindness xxx

[Thistle06]

Thanks all for your comments it makes me feel less alone, my ex has now continued the pressure and control by requesting mediation, since this request went in he has started intimidating me by standing out of his house whenever I come to collect the children – I don’t want to go to mediation but there’s nothing in place formally around the children he refused to agree anything when we divorced some years ago. My kids are older too so one wouldnt be covered by any arrangement order.
Im so low , it feels like Ill only be left alone by him when Im no longer here, he cannot leave me alone. I am logging the intimidation

[Thistle06]

I’m well divorced now nearly 3 years and still being bullied via the kids. It makes me feel like the only way he would stop is if I’m dead. I’m now being asked by him to go mediation around the children as he doesn’t like the fact I won’t let him make arrangements via the children. I don’t want to go. Since he made this request he has started standing outside when I pick the kids up to intimidate me. I don’t want any of it mu kids are happy I’m divorced but he will never leave me alone will he .

[Thistle06]

he is abusive my youngest called me in tears as his dad had been bullying him all night to stay over and asking questions such as do i have a boyfriend, then when i got them picked up he took a photo of the car(i was in the car i cant drive due to a medical issues) – my kids both commented that he is a pyscho and they are frightened for me. Last time i went to the police they said it was a domestic quarrel and refused to say it was harassment. I got emails, texts, i had to tell him to stop contacting me. To be honest i dont feel safe. He has taken an extreme turn what do i do?

[Thistle06]

Hes an irrelevance to me. So I ignore and don’t react but that’s very hard.

[Thistle06]

I just know it’s all manipulation either to make me cross and say don’t ever call me that we’re divorced or for me to be under a false sense of playing nicely. I hate it. I hate knowing that this is what he’s trying to do and I don’t understand why? I couldn’t care less either way how he speaks to me anymore, those days are long gone. Why doesn’t he get that ?

[Thistle06]

Thankyou all I feel so empty today and I don’t know how to recover from this utter vindictiveness and spite . But I will have to. How will I ever trust anyone again xx

[Thistle06]

I try to move on its been over (detail removed by moderator) since I left. He just keeps pulling me back . Will it ever end . How can someone treat someone like that why did I allow this to happen to me , what makes me so stupid xx

[Thistle06]

I think you’re right I’m going to phone the nspcc., when my daughter asked him to stop the sideshow (it was upsetting her but she wouldn’t tell him that ) and he refused.
It’s totally pickling my sons brain and its making my daughter difficult.
They need help. I talk to them but they keep coming back tense with each other xxx

[Thistle06]

What a lovely post I wish you every happiness xxx

[Thistle06]

Mine did the exact same to me he re wrote everything I submitted (detail removed by Moderator) as if it was him. It made me physically sick to the stomach especially when he accused me of emotional and psychological abuse and said he had been in touch with an organisation for abused men. It felt like he was mocking me and trivialising the (detail removed by Moderator) years of abuse. I would suggest you take a deep breath , remember that this is what they do mess with your head, casually and with no care. I could not have got through the last year without my support worker from womens aid and this forum.Keep looking ahead at the future and remember that this is because he’s lost control and power and is trying to find a lever to break you. Its so very hard mine lied so much about me to his family I received a photo of myself and my children with my face scrubbed out by a close member of his family and that was when we were still married. They were only annoyed they got caught the photo was sent to me accidently. Try writing down your truth keep a diary or a log. You are not alone we are here for you be strong and believe in your truth xx

[Thistle06]

I think you’re very brave to take that step. I’ve thought about it but I know I would struggle to be open and trusting so am avoiding it at the moment. I am instead working on all the friendships my ex tried to destroy. I hope you are OK and I know you will get through this please don’t be hard on yourself .xxx

[Thistle06]

Hi that will be my next step. I felt sick to my stomach but then n********ts always need new supply.

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