child contact – not out yet

Hi

I’ve tagged on the end of a couple of other posts and seen some advice given on how to deal with him seeing the children…..

I still want to be clearer and would like others advice and opinions on the right and best ways to go about children access and contact once I’m out.

If I leave or ( a miracle happens and he leaves) what do people advise as a process with letting him see/have young child??

Should I be seriously considering not letting him have her alone at all to start with until something formal via the court is in place? feels sooo extreme but you guys have more experience and info than i do at the end of the day.

Obviously we all have different levels and types of abuse (mine coercive control emotional financial etc, minimises a lot, attempts to make out im as bad when i raise my voice with child or something). I know that it will come as a huge shock and upset him beyond words once I mention contact and orders. I am OBVISOULY scared of doing this. He will think im crazy and got it wrong etc (I honestly dont know how that would make him behave) but when I have mentioned how child and his relationship needs work in the past – he got so upset and flippantly said he felt like just upping and leaving running away with child and couldnt believe i was saying such things – he doesnt normally talk like this, but also these conversations are not often had either.

I’ve chatted to solicitor about occupation orders – but the basic info I currently have is they are rarely granted (is that in my area i dont know) – I will speak to another solicitor today hopefully to clarify this more.

anyone gone through OO process recently Id appreciate any feedback also.

also to tag onto to this post – I just completed housing app, I found out yesterday I wouldnt be given any housing for around a year as thats the list… so im back to the drawing board with that one – private renting seems so difficult when in receipt of benefits and knowone else seems to be able to help, lockdown restrictions with viewing and having time alone to make calls even is very restrictive, but i suppose all i can do is keep looking and asking.

thanks all x