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Morning all,
I stuck In a situation i have left him twice on the second occasion he got me back this was (detail removed by moderator). This has been going on now since (detail removed by moderator). We used to live together and were engaged. I love him dearly but yet the abuse goes up and down he says I make him angry and he drinks but he dosnt rage any more but gets verbally nasty on the phone.
I now see him as and when without any children around. Basically I’m hidden. He stands away from me in the local area and at the school gates when he picks his kids up and I pick mine.
I sold my life for this man my home, car, furniture, gave up things I loved. My life really then he started drinking and getting nasty smashing shouting moody constantly so that’s why I left in the first place. He continues to say I broke his heart and and destroyed him in my brain I dont get how I cant see how it’s my fault. We meet engaged at 3 months moved house within 6 I also ended up getting bowel cancer throughout all this.
Anyway I now see him as and when now without any real commitment when he sees me he is lovely but when he dosnt he is name calling etc down the phone. So now hes doing it that way I guess.
I’m scared to leave I dont want to loose him as i love him so much, I dont want him to be with anybody else. It’s all so sad. He dosnt care about me at all deep down I know this.
Thank you for reading xxxxx
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Morning Letsgetout. I’m sending you lots of love💕 I can so relate to a lot of what you have written. It breaks my heart to see you suffering like this. I can’t even offer you tough advice. Someone stronger than me will come along for you today I hope? With “best ways”? of dealing with things. There’s a lot of knowledge in here offered from very experienced lovely caring and supportive women who are better able than me at this time to help you gain strength and hope, a way forward. It was an honour to read what you shared here, thankyou!💞
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Letsgetout
It’s difficult to leave an abusive man but you did it, you’re no longer living together and that was a very good step you took for yourself, you are safe now but need to make sure it stays that way.
You are trauma bonded to him, it is a very strong bond and a very good way to break it is going No Contact or at the very least Grey Rock, not engaging with him emotionally in any way. Stay strong and away from him, force yourself to redirect the love you feel for him towards yourself. Also read up about the stages of grief, that’ll set you clear on what you’re going through, grieving the lost relationship. You stay strong honey, be extra gentle to yourself, treat yourself.
If he gets any more harassing then think about reporting him to the police. Abusers never stop until they are told to by someone in power. Keep posting, you’re doing well darling 💪Hazydayz may I tell you, you’re such lovely and insightful person, your words are true balm for all here to read, so very helpful honey. You are able to relate so very well to others and in that validating and acknowledging the experience of others. You’re a true gem 💕
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