- This topic has 10 replies, 6 voices, and was last updated 3 years, 11 months ago by Alittlelost.
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9th June 2020 at 1:11 pm #105652AlittlelostParticipant
I think i should leave. I dont think im in a abusive relationship maybe its just really c****y one and is that way for many after so many years of being together and is normal.im fed up of moaning and then not leaving and annoying everyone so im just going stop moaning now. Im sorry if ive wasted anyones time but i wanted to thank everyone who taken time to reply and help me since ive been heen here since xmas. And thanks to the moderator lisa for your help too. Ive really appreciated everyones support. Thanks. Take care everyone.keep safe and keep strong.
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9th June 2020 at 2:27 pm #105658KIP.Participant
Hey, I will miss you. Please dip in and out and keep us up to date on how you’re doing. Even c****y relationships are ones you dont have to live with 💕
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9th June 2020 at 2:38 pm #105659EscapeeParticipant
Alittlelost…..are you really sure you should leave?
We’re not here to judge whether a relationship is abuse or just c****y, I thought this was my case until I finally saw it for it was.
With support so difficult to get at times, we are always here.
I hope you stay around 💕
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9th June 2020 at 3:54 pm #105663AlittlelostParticipant
Something happened at home and i pushed my community domestic abuse worker away. Shes left the door open if i want to go back but im fed up of moaning about things then not leaving. I know how annoying i must be to everyone. I annoy myself. Anyway as i said its just a bad relationship and i usual and i dont deserve anyones help. Im just going to get on with life.
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9th June 2020 at 4:06 pm #105664KIP.Participant
It took me three decades. That’s great she’s left the door open because you won’t always feel this way. It’s good to just have a safety net and to talk about things. It’s not moaning it’s trying to work out what’s happening to you x
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9th June 2020 at 4:18 pm #105667AlittlelostParticipant
Now i have to worry if im pregnate because one thing that happened. It feels like ages till i will know or not. Its only few weeks but feels like ages. Im just so worried.
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9th June 2020 at 4:20 pm #105668Wants To HelpParticipant
Don’t leave, just take a little break. You’re not wasting anyone’s time.
You’re just not in the ‘ready to go’ stage yet, but the lifelines to a life free of abuse are still dangling there ready for you to grab hold of when you are. This site may be one of them, your DA Community Worker another. Don’t delete your account here, just don’t visit for a while if that’s what you feel you need. Take some time out to evaluate what you have read up on and think things through.
Even if you have come to the conclusion your relationship is not abusive, it’s still an unhappy one. People can still leave unhappy relationships. Don’t worry about labels, just do what makes you happy and feels right for you.
No one can come and ‘rescue’ someone from abuse. It’s pointless. We can take a woman away from the man that we know is abusing her and put her in some place safe, but if she’s not ready to leave him then she’ll just go back to him as soon as we’ve left. The lady has to leave on her own terms when the time is right for her. We respect that, we understand that. That’s why it’s so important to leave those lifelines dangling. We just never know when she might suddenly grab one.
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9th June 2020 at 4:49 pm #105680LisaMain Moderator
Hi Alittlelost
I just wanted to show you some support, I can see that you have already had such supportive replies. You are not annoying anyone at all or wasting anyone’s time.
We are all here for you, it can take a long time to leave and we all know here how hard it is, there is no pressure to act on anything right now, just do what is right for you. This forum is the right place for you to get support so if you do want to stay then please do.
Take care
Lisa
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9th June 2020 at 5:10 pm #105686EscapeeParticipant
It sounds like you need more support at the moment sweetie.
It took me years to leave too, I would often cry on a friend’s shoulder and they would tell me I should leave but I’d just shrug my shoulders. I just wasn’t ready.
Even now that I’ve left, I still have moments of self doubt.It helps to talk it all out, the other lovely ladies say, you’re not moaning, just trying to make sense of it all. 💕
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9th June 2020 at 7:04 pm #105712AnonymousInactive
Oh my goodness…….no need to run and hide. We are all big girls here and we all Moan!!! Part of being human and talking it out is how we women solve problems….We throw it up on the board and then think about it. Kinda like being in a war room. Data goes up, comes down, moved around, trashed. It’s brainstorming and extremely important for you. I’m a whacko little thing when in that room, don’t care who knows it either. If we judged you, then we are right in that seat as well but intelligent minds do this. We go to the table and the wall and talk things out, hypothesize, sketch, debate (not argue, big difference) until we hammer it out. So please don’t go…..Hugs!!
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9th June 2020 at 9:01 pm #105737AlittlelostParticipant
Thanks everyone. I maybe take a break or something i dont know. Im just really stressed and dont know how to cope i push things away more. Thanks for ur support though.
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