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For those who don’t know me i survived through 2 abusive relationships and have children from the first. I left my last abusive relationship a number of years ago. I suffered PTSD, anxiety attacks etc etc all those a fresh survivor and people still going through abuse has suffered. I have lost my mind unable to fathom what has been going on around me and been in some very dark places where i thought i would never be able to pull myself back from. It’s been a scary journey. For a while i have been using this forum although not so much anymore.
my husband the first abuser is the father of my kids and after many unsettled times it has been decided he is no longer to contact any of us. This was decided a while back. The second abuser clung on to keep me under his thumb but i’v broken away there too. I have been through counselling and worked hard to sort my life out. I am doing my degree and have a good job too. We have moved for our safety and the move which was a while ago now made the pain fade.
I no longer think of the exes anymore. I am happy in myself happy being alone and happy with my life. Therapy has taught me how to deal with people so i don’t get trapped in the abusive cycle no longer. I cut off allot of friends to walk away from the situation and i don’t regret it. My life is practically perfect (except issues with my narc mum which are becoming easier to deal with after therapy) I don’t get angry or upset or sad anymore over little things.
I used to think i was ruined forever i am not now. As time goes my slate becomes cleaner and my troubles from the past fade every day. I have learnt being alone isn’t to be afraid of i have become my best friend. I have made friends on my journey a very good friend i made from this forum who even though we live far from each other we speak everyday and visit each other allot she’s my rock and i hers.
What i am trying to say is nomatter how you feel now how hurt and angry and like things will never be right again they will be and you know what I am strong!! Oh so strong i have more strength than most because of what i have been through. I admire my own strength. things will get better for you.
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It’s so great to hear all this, Bubbles! You are so right! We aren’t ruined forever- we are changed, but we can return to joy and peace.
So glad you are so strong and that you have had support from this new friend.
Keep on standing up to your mum and keep her at a distance that seems comfortable to you.
Well done, Bubbles.
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