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    • #112733
      Losingbattle
      Participant

      (Detail removed by moderator) I finally found the courage to end it with my husband. It came about after I found him checking up on me while I was shopping. To keep the situation calm as possible I agreed he could stay on the sofa until he found somewhere. It seemed to work. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted and I’m ready to finally start a new life for me and the kids. Obviously today was still a day where he left his empty beer cans all over and mess after eating which just shows his lack of respect. And he did randomly message me asking if I wanted to go for a meal (detail removed by moderator). I almost lost myself and thought he was being nice. But then I gave my head a shake and said no, nothing will change, I’ll be no happier. I see the message his way of staying in control. The fact he sent it with no mention of how he’d been etc, just expected me to reply with a, yes of course. But no. I’m through. I doubt things will stay calm but fingers crossed. Counting down the days til he has found somewhere

       

    • #112737
      diymum@1
      Participant

      He will pull out the stops to hoover you in so be careful xx a favourite one is to be a martyr poor me crying threatening suicide xx these men always end up fending for themselves in the end. Put your life and the kids first my biggest regret is not sticking to leaving sooner I wasted so much time she did so much damage to me and the kids xx grip the bull by the horns and take the leap of faith ❤️🥰

    • #112738
      diymum@1
      Participant

      I mean by sticking this out he might not leave easily when he knows your serious xx

    • #112740
      Eggshells
      Participant

      I would recommend you give him a time limit – no excuses. As long as he’s in the house he will not treat this as a separation. It took me a week to find a rental property. I move in, in (detail removed by moderator) weeks. He can be out in a month! Don’t let him spin this out.

       

    • #112746
      Losingbattle
      Participant

      Oh I wont.i can already see hes trying to drag it out. I found him a property bigger than what he needs but same rent as the smaller ones. He refused it saying it was too big. I then found him another one the exact size he wants but got no response. Hes trying to be nice at the minute but I’m just staying out of his way and basically showing him that I’ve made my decision

    • #112749
      Eggshells
      Participant

      Hmm. Doesn’t sound like he has any intention of leaving to me.

    • #112771
      Losingbattle
      Participant

      Eggshells I’m getting the same impression at the moment. I get the impression he thinks I’m going to change my mind. I know he could go stay at a few different family members. I’m going to give it until (detail removed by moderator) and really push it. It might set off an argument but I’ve a feeling that a fall out might give him the kick up the arse he needs

    • #112774
      Eggshells
      Participant

      I’ll be thinking of you. xx

    • #112776
      Lisa
      Main Moderator

      Hi Losingbattle

      I just wanted to show you some support, I can see you have support from diymum@1 and Eggshells too.

      It sounds like you have had a difficult few days. I hope you have some support from your local domestic abuse service at the moment. You could have a read of this page and make sure you have a safety plan https://www.womensaid.org.uk/the-survivors-handbook/making-a-safety-plan You could also consider calling the police if he won’t leave. You can have a chat with a support worker on our Live Chat Service so you can go into more detail and get some advice on making sure you are safe.

      Take care and please keep posting to let us know how you are,

      Lisa

    • #112781
      Diverdi
      Participant

      Good luck. I’ve been at this point and given in and let him stay. Took me a long time to build up the courage again.
      Stay strong and try not to let him persuade you to give him another chance

    • #112815
      Losingbattle
      Participant

      I can see signs of him trying to sway me but I’m not falling for it. If he doesn’t show signs of leaving soon then I’ll just tell him that I’ll look for a new home myself. I have no problem moving out

    • #112831
      Losingbattle
      Participant

      For example. We agreed to stay civil while he was here so I’ve tried not to talk to him too much. He made comments today about how I don’t speak to him. He then got emotional saying he didn’t want to split up. I did kinda feel a bit sorry for him but I know I have to keep strong. If I back down things will still be the same. And theres been times in the past where I’ve been in tears infront of him and hes just ignored me and been verbally abusive. So why should his tears have a different effect on me. I just need to keep to my decision

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