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Hi everyone,struggling again , bad days returned after a few good days. I was meant to start councilling yesterday but the Dr was sick so cancelled which has had an effect .Took a lot for me to reach out and now it’s delayed for a week.I’m still going over my statements making sure I haven’t left anything out and this is taking over my mind and emotions setting me back to when it happened. I feel embarrassed for tolerating more than the damage it caused me,I dealt with that as it happened and it became normal but because I lived years in this situation and now exposed it I feel shame for allowing it to continue for so long it’s been normal for me to cover it up , this process isn’t normal for me and I’m struggling to process it and know I have to live it until after the divorce is finalised which could take months.
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Hi, this is totally normal that you would be feeling this way. Your mind is probably ruminating on the situation relentlessly. Try to see if you can start doing things that break you out of the spiral of shame, pain, regret that your mind is trapped in right now. Even if for only a few minutes or even seconds. Journalling, walking, exercise, music, dance, meditation, even watching a favorite show. Try to notice your thoughts and start questioning them. When your ego shames you, start questioning that false message. Byron Katie has an exercise for this.
It will take some time but by doing some mental and emotional work, these emotions will greatly lessen. -
Thanks , I’m questioning if I’m to blame too !! The sooner I can start therapy the better my minds mash potato at the minute and I cant get things to make much sense ,definitely over thinking .Music helps lift me for a bit.I’m talking to my brother daily via email now which hasn’t happened for (detail removed by Moderator) years so that’s one of the positives from all of this.
Thank you for your advice x
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