Is it abuse

Hi, @Brunette3

I am replying to your post mostly to tell you you are not alone. I have often thought the exact same thing, and probably many others that are in this forum.

What I can suggest is for you to look up trauma bonding, and maybe even do some inner child meditation. This latter one means not just imagining talking to our childhood selves and asking them what they need, choosing to protect them, but also acting on it. Identify then act.

This is easier said than done of course, and while saying this I am no way close to actually feeling like I can detach from my abuser. Still, step by step! Everyone has their time.
One of the best things you can do as well is to put the focus back on you and what you need.

Take care of yourself.

I feel the same as you. I’ve read the books on abuse, the books on self-love etc, I’ve been on the forum for long time now yet that final step of actually leaving still feels so alien. It dominates my mind every single day and I can’t stop analysing what might happen when I actually so leave. Plus my life just feels like it’s on hold in the meantime which makes me feel worse.
Stay strong and remember you’re not alone, as Ariadne says, lots of us here are feeling exactly the same so we understand. 💗

I am in the same boat and have been for a good few years since I realised i wasn’t being treated how I should be.
I think people will think i have met someone else which I haven’t. It might be easier to leave if I had.
He has told me he won’t give me a penny financially if I leave. Which hurts too after decades together I haven’t got the money to battle it out in the courts.
Every year I tell myself a percentage of how much I want to stay and how much I want to go. This year it’s now ninety % to leave. I have just started following Elizabeth shaw overcoming n**c abuse. Which has helped a bit.