- This topic has 5 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 2 years, 1 month ago by PositiveVibesOnly.
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7th April 2022 at 10:52 am #141517PositiveVibesOnlyParticipant
I wrote on here for the first time a few weeks back. Since then things got worse and I went to the police. They said that I needed more evidence but suggested I get a lawyer. That’s what I done and she told me that while he’s at work,pack a case.grab my kids and my dog and go. And that’s what I done. I’m now living with my mum. It wasn’t easy and since then things have actually got worse. The house has now sold so this is the next messy part but we r safe and I am glad I done it. Never going back,onwards and upwards. The smile on my kids face and the strength and freedom I now feel has all been worth it 🙂 new beginnings are just around the corner x
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7th April 2022 at 11:44 am #141518Grey RockParticipant
Congratulations on leaving.
Yes, things do seem worse at first. It’s all new territory as well as abusers tending to do their upmost to make life uncomfortable and difficult. Plus we often grieve the loss. Not of the person per SE, but of the hope that we’d carried for that relationship. The hope that they’d change / stop being abusive etc. It’s a big shift and a lot to take in.
I found the support of Women’s Aid and my Freedom Program ladies really helpful in my healing and processing. I hope you have found a good source of support or will do soon. (As much as people who haven’t experienced it want to help, sometimes they can’t get that we don’t instantly feel happy or relived that we’re out, and it can be exausting dealing with those people).
I’d recommend the book Out of the Fog (FOG being Fear Obligation and Guilt). Also the Dr Ramani YouTube videos to understand some of the hoovering strategies you might come up against in the coming months.
Take care Chicka.
GR x
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7th April 2022 at 12:53 pm #141520BananaboatParticipant
Amazing well done! Knowing my kids will be so much happier is what keeps me pushing to get out on the tough day, fantastic xx
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7th April 2022 at 5:06 pm #141527PositiveVibesOnlyParticipant
Thank u ladies 🙂 and Grey Rock I didn’t even think about getting any sort of help now,but what u said about grieving is 100% spot on,and I feel huge guilt for feeling these feelings so thank u for validation them. I will look into help and I will look at this book,thank u
Bananana boat,I hope u and ur children and happy 🙂 -
7th April 2022 at 5:30 pm #141529StrongenoughParticipant
Well done @positivVibesOnly for making that leap. Its not easy but so worth it! X
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7th April 2022 at 6:44 pm #141532PositiveVibesOnlyParticipant
Thank u so much strongenough xx
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