- This topic has 10 replies, 5 voices, and was last updated 1 year, 11 months ago by
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Hi, I’m so close to going, I’m doubting myself. My partner isn’t violent . He’s controlling and manipulative . He is in denial about me going
Just carrying on as normal with all the love youd and bye..I’m starting to think I’m crazy.. the things I have accused him of he is saying never happened.. the things I needed to change , he has said can change.. he has said this before and it’s not happened..I don’t want a life of regret. But I’m thinking If I go , what if it was all in head and I messed up my entire family as there are kids involved, or if I stay then wish I had of gone.. I can’t think right.. I can’t think clearly. I’m so confused. I have been with him most my life. Am I the one with problems. I have depression and I think it makes it so hard for me to make decisions.. I know ondw I leave there is no going back but i have been un happy for years now. This relationship has had a massive impact on mine and my eldest relationship . I’m so torn.. -
Been here with him acting like nothing has happened which does exactly what you say and makes you doubt – that’s their aim. If they ignore the problem for long enough we’ll forget and go back to the compliant, depressed person they want. Keep going, it’s really hard but you know he won’t change xx
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Tea and biscuits
Please do not doubt yourself.
You have said he has made you unhappy for years…don’t forget that!
I am in exactly the same situation as you. I told my husband of a long time that I wanted to leave recently. He cried and then said we will sort it out! He keeps telling me he loves me and making future plans! It’s so so hard isn’t it.
Keep on making your future plans
Take care x -
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It’s just so hard. I can cope with the control over me.. I can cope with paying for most things. I can’t cope with not having my child come for home visits. It’s to much.. I’m so confused and having life right now.
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I think the hard thing is the child we share will have there life changed so much so I worry about that one. But if I don’t go then my other child is excluded from my family home. I have all these senerios going around in my head. I love my kids so much. I’m torn between them and it hurts so much. 💔 q
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Children adapt honey I have lots of children can’t say how many because of identity reasons but they adapt it’s better to do this now than when they are older.honey you are a queen now straighten than crown you deserve to be treated better.my partner isn’t violent either but he emotionally abuses me he has lights me changed the subject when ask a question love bombs me when I’m angry to avoid confrontation and never resolved issues it’s all part of abuse I used to say but he hasent hit me but I would rather he did than go through the tornment he gives me sometimes he dosent text his phone to me after 10 texts and gets angry if I don’t pick after 3 rings .the emotional abuse is without invalidating anyone on here it’s worse because it lasts longer.you probably have depression because of him!and he’s confusing you that’s what they do your heart starts taking over combined with his manipulation
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Oh gorgeous lady you are worth more. He is doing this – it’s all part of his bag of tricks. Mine was just awful and would say he didn’t remember some of the worst things he did only to be able to argue with me about the exact number of times he hit me 2 days later. Consider reading ‘why does he do that’ by Lundy Bancroft. It’s free online and really helpful to understand abusers and how to heal.
You’re gorgeous and beautiful and worth so much more.
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