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Hi everyone,
I’m just about to go to court and might result “ruin his life” in term of his visa. I’m too scared if I go ahead he will take revenge to find me and hurt me again in future. I know he “might ” capable do this, he is been so cruel all this years. I don’t know what to do. On the other side I know I have to do it to do the right things, he has abused me is not right but on the other side I am scared if he will take revenge. -
Hi HA,
Thank you, if he stays in this country he will have nothing to loose after he lost everything, that thought might make him not think of anything else except revenge. If I let him go I know how satisfied he is to have get away what he’s been doing to me and to other people (which the discharged him in the passed) I just get my life so peaceful away from him and no contact. I have no family in this country making me not feel save entirely.
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The thing is, Million Pieces, of you don’t go to court, he will know it is because you are frightened to.
That will make him feel powerful, and if he knows you are scared, he will try to bully you anyway.
I am thinking that at least if you go to court, you can ask for a safety plan to be put in place- I think of they think there is real risk to you, you can get a MARAC, where lots of different services work together to protect you.
I know other women here have been through this, so hopefully you will get some more advice x*x
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Hi Serenity,
I do feel scared, sometime I just wish he realise what he is doing to me is abuse which I doubt he realise it. He done in many time, the fact h stopped for few years but he did it again is proof he won’t change. But even he realise ha had hurt me but still blame me of going to police. I have no family to protect me, I just have few friends which can’t always ask their help, they have their own life. Will I feel safe if knowing I ruin his life? We all know it’s him ruin his own but the fact he didn’t think that way is confusing.
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That might be the case, All he knows is just the area of where I work but I believe he will be too “lazy” to track me down. But I still wish will be different story. I wish I don’t have to go through this, I wish I realise what he did is wrong, I wish what I have been trying to make him understand that giving love towards life is bring so much joy instead put anger, hatred towards it. I have been fighting for this for years and I’m exhausted. I just want to stop. If I stop and drop it all he will walk out from his responsible like always if I go for it will he learn or stick to blame everything on me? I don’t know. I have not contact him and live a day at the time. I broken down everyday, I’m hurt heart and soul, but I find it easier to not think what will happen but the court making me nerves and whether I like it or not I have to face it. And it’s really hard.
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Thank you HA,
Yes this forum has helped me so much, I have no contact with him for more than a month but I do try to get in touch with his friends which killing me and since I found this forum I stopped doing that. And I was thinking to not come to court (which the police say will drop the charge) as I don’t want him to ruin his life but now I know I have to stand up for my self. thank you all for your feed back. I really found this helpful. I will read the books, I do realise my journey to get back to my self is still long, and I need to be prepare with all the information I needed to be strong. -
Oh well! Go to court and ruin his visa forever. Let him get deported. What can he do? Call your people back home, send letters about him to people you know he is contact with and warn them that he might be violent. Oh, I would ruin his chances in his country by informing everyone possible in writing about what he did in England. You can do this. Mess him up back home. He will be too scared to do anything in the end.
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