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The end is in sight. Divorce is under way, house is sold and I am buying a new house so now I’ve just got to hold strong and hope none of it falls through and makes this period of living together even longer. Its been (detail removed by moderator) since I told him i don’t want to be married to him anymore. He still spends most of his time telling me how I’m to blame for not allowing him a voice, how I’ve poisoned the children against him and my favourite, how selfish i am for wanting to call an end to our marriage. He absolutely cannot and will not accept anything other than he is the victim. He is constantly trying to make me feel guilty as he’ll be on his own and the children will be with me.
(detail removed by moderator) he comes to the room to tell me how badly I’ve treated him but also how I’m not giving counselling a chance to sort things out between us. Yet when I ask him to leave he tells me he has a right to have his voice heard.
I can’t wait to be free. I’m so angry inside at being forced to live with him still. His passive aggressive pushing of my buttons until he gets reaction and then he’s all like, why are you being aggressive.
Why can’t he leave me alone??? I’m sorry, I’m ranting here but I’m full of so much anger and frustration I want to scream. The complete madness of it all. The never ending non resolution of anything, the constant merry go round of repeated conversations which he has to ‘win’ otherwise they never end.
if i talk to him the way he talks to me…I’m aggressive.
Oh and we can’t forget that we aren’t allowed to say that he is addicted to drugs and has an alcohol problem. That has absolutely nothing to do with anything. (detail removed by moderator). None of it makes any logical sense.
I just want to be free. -
You are so brave and strong.
Keep your goal in sight, your own home with your children and no him to contend with.
They know how to get a rise out of you, then twist it onto you.
Perhaps you might have an option of a non-molestation order?
This can be in place even when living together?
You can find the forms online.
Maybe read through one and see if it’s an option for you?
Basically it means your husband is not allowed to threaten or intimidate you, and will end up in court if he does.
You would have more power to call the police on his behaviour if he broke the non-mol.
There are sections in the form that you put the reason why you are applying.
You can say that you have had to live together whilst the sale of the house goes through.
Put evidence of what he has done or said to you in it.
Say you fear for your mental health, but most importantly for what your children are witnessing and being subjected to by seeing and hearing his abuse.
When children are involved, they have to take their welfare into account, including mental health.
Just by witnessing any abuse towards their parent, verbal or physical, makes the child a victim.
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