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We’ve moved on from the physical Altho I worry everytime we argue that he will lash out . He’s now started telling me I’m worthless , I’m nothing, I’d be nothing without him I can only do what I do and did because of him and I stood tall and wasn’t going to believe him but I’ve heard it so much now
He says that he’s in an abusive relationship because I make him do everything he has done and said I push those buttons and now I’m thinking back like maybe I have , maybe I could have prevented thatI’ve literally broke today and I’ve cried a lot of it and I’m just so tired
But I honestly don’t know if I can leave , scared of asking for help
He doesn’t do in front of people everyone thinks he’s a great dad and partner and he’s never done anything in front of the kids
Literally no one has witnessed it and now I’m just debating in my own head what’s right or wrong 😑 -
Hi lovely, it really isn’t you. This is what they do. They treat us like this and then blame us. Tell us they are reacting to what we have done. But you know in your heart that’s not right. It’s not how other people behave.
Lots of the women on this forum have reached out to their local women’s aid and got support.
Maybe you could just try speaking to someone first. You don’t deserve to be treated like this.
And they are excellent at portraying themselves as great to everyone else. Its part of the abuse, to isolate you. -
I read on the woman’s aid website that if there is children involved they can break confidence which has completely scared me .
My kids are safe and see and hear nothing .
I’m just sick of being told I’m nothing I can only all I do as in hobbies and education because of him . That if I didn’t have him I’d have to scrounge told him if I have to scrounge then so be it .
He told me I’m a druggy for medication I take for illnesses like what !!I just feel so done in 😭
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Please don’t underestimate what your kids see and hear. That tension in the air, seeps through everything. My teen was hyper aware to how he said hello etc, even my toddler acted differently depending on the dad’s actions. I thought they were sheltered from it. They also watch you. I don’t mean to worry you, I just wanted to share that a lot of us stay to protect the kids but don’t realise the impact that has. Have you read ‘why does he do that’ by Lundy Bancroft? It helped me see things I hadn’t realised fell into his abuse/control, even small things add up. It was also a huge eye opener for an awful lot of the behaviour you’re describing that is aimed at you. X x
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