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Ive been away with family and friends. He was horrible so horrible. He made a huge point of telling everyone else how lovely they looked but never me he put me down at every opportunity.
He moaned and blamed me for everything yet still wanted sex.
Friends took me aside asked if i was ok if he was always like this i said yes he is and she was wow you must be exhausted i think she finally saw how bad he is getting. However she didnt offer any comfort I guess its hard when he is her friend too.
Ive been poorly whilst away yet still expected to do all he wants today he told me not to go to work as im poorly any excuse to keep me home. I saw him in a whole different light whilst away I saw the narc that he truely is I saw how he knows exactly what he is doing to me and i saw just how much he enjoys it.
Im very low very low at the moment but I now actually am ready to face this head on and actually stand up and say i believe my husband is a narc.
Step one right?
Now to face up to step two the abuse word then step 3 and beyond what im gonna do about it all. -
Hey nbumblebee
I am sorry he was so vile to you… but also I am relieved someone else noticed his abusive behaviour towards you.
Personally I struggle with the word narc, I think because YES all these abusers do have n**********c ways, however, N**********c Personality Disorder is a rare disorder which can be diagnosed by a psychiatrist or other professional… which means there’s help available for people who have NPD whereas people who abuse are not ill, there’s no cure as they.choose to live as an abuser… that’s how it was explained to me as I kept looking up info on N********m until support worker explained it to me.
It always baffled me with my ex husband.. he would be horrible to me all day, especially if we were going somewhere and then he would all grabbing and gropping and pushing himself up against me from behind.. and it’s crazy as he would make it clear he didn’t like me and kids that day but demanded sex as it made him feel loved! Ffs.. bonkers these men!
Keep your eyes open, you saw the truth and so did someone who is a friend, it took a friend to open my eyes đź‘€ to the abuse and to what my husband is.
Big hugs HFH ❤️ -
It was my counsellor who told me about narc and thwir behaviour she says my husband is a textbook narc Ive troed to avoid reading up on it but whilst away I did and he does fit the criteria.
I do get what you are saying and i am mindful that this should not be used as an excuse for the hurt he causes me.
Im glad our friend saw but she hardly said anything and still laughed and joked with him but I guess I do the same right?
I dont know what i expected.
She certainly doesnt see it as abuse but she sees hes not nice at times I guess its a start.
Thank you xxxx -
I’m glad your friend noticed that something is not right about the way your H behaves towards you, because that will help to validate what you have been struggling to acknowledge for a long time.
We all have different tolerance levels and what is abusive behaviour to one person might not be regarded as such by another. So it’s how his behaviour makes you feel that’s important here.
Listen to that inner voice, because you will know deep down what is right and wrong for you.
You are doing ok @nbumblebee, you will get there.
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Thanks @Darknessallaround I think I am seeing now I really cant pretend anymore after tbe holiday and his terrible behaviour I really cant hide away.
Im so scared of the future Im scared of letting go scared of admitting out loud scared of that b****y word abuse scared of actually believing all this is him not me but I am finally facing it well I am finally trying too. Xxxxx
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