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So me and the kids have been through a lot with their dad, he has always been in their loves until recently following a safeguarding incident and social services were involved. He was given recommended referrals and agreed to supervised visits only but he won’t do it, feels he has done nothing wrong it’s everyone else whose at fault and against him but it’s now affecting the kids and they are regularly upset over not seeing their dad. I have no idea what to say to them and wether they need help seperate from me? My son especially talks about always feeling sad n matter what he does and that being his little secret he doesn’t tell people often because of all this it broke my heart.
Also coming out of abusive relationships therapy for me is recommended, has anyone done this? Was it helpful?
Thanks
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(detail removed by Moderator).I’m sorry what you are going through but kids will see him for what he is acting selfish.it was never about their needs only his that’s abusers for you everything on their terms it seems that’s why mine took me to court as he wanted it his way or high way they make me sick
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Hi knittingmum
I’m sorry you and your kids have been through so much.
My children have also barely spoken with their dad for a while now.I found talking to my children’s schools helpful to see what they could offer them. This really helped my youngest who has had received regular support from a learning mentor.
I have also had some therapy but in my case this has stirred up a lot of things that I had buried and am now struggling with… so I think while therapy is really good – it needs to be a long term rather than a short term solution. At least for me anyhow.
I hope that your family will find some peace after their difficult experiences – good luck xx
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I had some therapy when I was in the process of getting out. We started off exploring how it made me feel but it was too emotional and I had to be in the mind set of ‘do’ and not ‘feel’ to allow me to get through. I wasn’t in a place where it was safe to break all that down. Instead we switched gears and focused on the future, who I wanted to be and how I could make it happen. It was a real game changer for me. Made me more determined to get the life I want snd i havent looked back yet. Im sure there might be a time when im ready or need to open up that box but i feel like he ruined so msny years of my life that right now, i dont want to waste my time on him. But obviously it’s different for everybody.
There are a lot of free services for kids and I think it can help them if they want it. My daughters school were great with her and they had people on site she could talk to. -
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