Will it ever end

I am yrs post break up from my abusive ex and yet the abuse continues. The trauma constantly affects me and has impacted my children. I don’t know how to move on I have zero confidence and no self esteem how do u ever get to the point where you feel like you are good enough.
I have massive walls up and just can’t let my guard down I would love to share my life with someone but feel more protected staying alone coz then I can’t be in this again. Also how do you have someone new in your life when u have to still continue dealing with the abuse from an ex!