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I have been in this abusive relationship long time, for many years I thought it was my me because I wasn’t well educated, didn’t know how to speak the language proper and on and on, so I was accepting everything.
I did left the house many times but always come back, i never talked to anybody about it. Then I was blessed with my baby, and I honestly thought that things would stop because he love baby soo much, he is really clever and well educated but no, nothing changed. COVID come we move in with 2 in lows (they are amazing to me and to baby) but i never wanted to move town or with in lows, they get involve with baby education or because i don’t want baby eating junk/processed food or too much sugar stuff, also learning my native language, this started to bother me allot, and because he never talk to then diret it looks like i am a bad person.
Anyway, he started to shout, slap calling me all sort of names in front of baby and in front of them, many times they have to take baby away or get in front of me to stop him from Slap or hit me.I left my business my clients allots of then all behind, fine new area is perfect for baby to grow up, am happy about that.
I finally got the house, without floor, furniture, anything nothing i had only clothes to take with me and little money that i had saved from when i used to work, so my plan was always to bring baby with me, but last min i decided that it wasn’t fair on baby to be dragged away from the in lows, the dad and the school that baby loves soo much. Also i was too afraid really afraid that he would found out where i live and come to pick baby, also i wasn’t going to take baby out of school,soo ether way he would have take baby away. Now is (detail removed by Moderator) away i have been back because baby was ill stayed (detail removed by Moderator) days and left, i know he will never ever let baby be with me on his own will, am scared i was always scared that i lose my baby, but i have good feeling that baby will be with me at some point. I feel awful that i left baby but i also feel that i did the right thing, because baby don’t have her mother there, but baby has 3 loving people, i want baby with me but i also want baby to be with then, her dad is lovely to her and also are the in lows.
he let me see baby just to try to convince me to go back, to tell me how she feel how is easy to run and hide, that he married for life, that why did i have kid if i didn’t want then, how s**t of a mother i am to do this to my own child, list is long.
(detail removed by Moderator) I know this will be long long fight but i need a light because i am on the dark, can’t talk to anyone about, i feel shame, embarrassing and sad. Anything will be appreciative. -
I think you are very brave.
It sounds like you didn’t have much choice and his parents are happy to watch their son do that to you. They should be ashamed.
I think you need to call womens aid, look up your local number and call them for advice.
I understand what you are saying about they all will give the baby a good life. But he is a violent man and how long will it be before he gets cross with baby when he/she gets a bit older and answers back.
My advice is to call womens aid and talk everything through with them. They will not judge and will not push you to do anything.
I also left with my children behind they were older and 2 of them are with me now and he has one.
So I kind of know, but all out situations are different. -
Did you try lawyers as he was intimidating and violent. It’s a path and as your kids are younger it is easier as they are not teens nor adults to get them back. Seek advice there or from domestic violence counseling
I have heard a number of women where the there was domestic violence and father took them – for me it appears common.
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