Oh he’s been up to no good (only doing good for him).

He started a new job and even got paid earlier than he anticipated. So he’s been love-bombing the children. The children are clever and recognise it for what it is, but they’re going to go enjoy it anyways. Can’t blame them. He’s been pretty awful to them.

(detail removed by Moderator), he suggested that we stay in the family home while he moves out. He has a place where he can go that is rather nice, rent free. But then he’s been busying himself with getting that place up to his standards even though he’s not worked for a very long time and our family home has some outstanding maintenance that needs still needs tending.

So while I was thrilled at the prospect of getting him out willingly, I think it might be a poisoned pill where he would like me to buy him out of this property and I’ve been resistant because of said maintenance issues that he neglected through out the entire time that he was out of work. It seems like he wants out of those obligations while making a nice new home for himself.

At his new job, he’s out of contact so I have been taking on full time care for our children, who each have not been coping too well with circumstances… fielding calls from school and other healthcare professionals for looking after the children. All of that work and then the emotional work that goes along with all of that has been dumped on me. Also I work full time.

Meanwhile, he swans in from work, reheats some food for the children for dinner and then goes to game and then goes to bed thinking to himself that he’s a hero because he reheated the children’s food. Meanwhile, I’m coordinating care for the children, helping them with homework, getting them sorted for school runs. Being the parent and being present with them.

I’ve had to adjust my work schedule to accommodate. Thankfully, work is very flexible there and I’ve kept my lead manager in the loop on things ongoing. However all of that of course leaves me completely exhausted everyday.

This is the set up he always wanted. I’m angry because he felt so bad about not being the ‘equal partner’ in our children’s care, and I feel like he’s lied to be there. Because unless its something he can buy for the children (used to be with my money, now he’s paying for things too and complaining that they cost a fortune), he’s otherwise not bothered.

Example (detail removed by Moderator), I’ve been out (detail removed by Moderator) with the children helping them with their (detail removed by Moderator). He’s been sat in his pyjamas doing whatever in his room. He is not putting in the time with them.

But I’m standing strong. I know what I need to do and I am still working all of the issues around it, complex as they are. And his current satisfaction will be short lived.