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Hi Prince55,
It’s completely normal to be feeling this way. Even though you hate him for what he’s done, you’re still grieving the loss of the relationship. He’s someone who you’ve shared your life with, had good times with, planned and hoped what your future together was going to be. It’s okay to miss him and need time to gradually let go of the idea of being with him as family. As painful as it must be, it’s positive that you recognise that he’s not going to change and that you’re reaching out here for support when you need to instead of messaging him.
Take care and keep posting,
Lisa
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