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I have left him finally after years of thinking it. I feel awful, I feel like i’m abandoning him and he thinks i’m giving up on him and us and that it’s my fault as if I stopped arguing with him we would be fine. But I can’t make peace with his rage and outbursts, I just can’t accept that that it what a relationship is. He has said that it will happen again and there’s always hard parts in relationships but surely it isn’t normal to have moments when you fear for your safety. It is just so hard as he is a great partner 75% of the time and I just feel so guilty and sad
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Well done for leaving. You’ve done the hard part that I am struggling with still.
They try to make it like you’re the problem and they don’t take accountability or try to work on themselves.
Sounds very similar to what my boyfriend says, that every relationship has arguments and ups and downs. Trying to downplay the abuse and make it seem normal. It’s not normal to be dealing with constant outbursts and be walking on eggshells.
Stay strong. You’ve done the right thing x
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Huge well done! It’s not normal no but they like to make us feel it is, they say oh we don’t argue as much as someone else they know etc, but you’re right not to accept it. Your home, your partner should be your safe place, not somewhere you fear or walk on eggshells. Look into FOG, fear, obligation and guilt as it’s very real and expect ups and downs over the first few days & weeks. You’re grieving and standard break ups are tough enough, let alone all the free extras we endure. x
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