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My abuser has not only come up with the most effective way to control me, but her parents help her.
We are a same sex couple, I am the biological parent, but she is on the birth certificate for my child.
Whenever I don’t obey, or I stand up for myself she takes my child and locks herself in a room with him and won’t let me see him until I obey. (detail removed by moderator) Its not kidnapping here unless 24 hours goes by abd they know to atleast temporarily return him by then. If I report it she plans to use my near constant panic attacks from the abuse as evidence that I am “crazy and unstable” to the police.
It is now used as a constant threat, her parents on speed dial to swoop my son away as soon as I step out of line.
What do I do?
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Hi Ijustcant,
This sounds like such a distressing situation to be in. Exactly as you say, she’s come up with the most effective way to control you. Abusers will pinpoint what they know will be most scary and painful for their partners. Often this will be threats around access to a child because they know how unthinkable not seeing their child is for a mother.
What she’s doing is coercive control and this is a crime. It’s frightening to think that if you tried to get help from the police that she would use the impact of her abuse to make you seem unstable. If you did want to report to the police, your local domestic abuse service may have advocates who could support you to do so. They can also help you to understand what your options are so that you can decide what you want to happen. You deserve to be free of abuse and able to live a life you choose for yourself.
Take care and keep posting,
Lisa
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