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Hi
i left my husband (detail removed by Moderator) weeks ago now, I’m back home with the children and functioning more day to day but he’s still in my head.
I took the children to swimming lessons (detail removed by Moderator) (first time ever) and was sat watching with predominantly men around me and I felt really uncomfortable and fearful of what his reaction would be, how would I tell him there was men there, what would the backlash be etc. which sounds ridiculous.also, my good friend who I had confided in about him and was very much an advocate of leaving and he’ll never change has now taken him in, he’s staying on her sofa, she’s picking the children up from school for him etc etc and it has completely messed with my head. I feel rather betrayed and confused by her motive or whats she telling him and vice versa.
when do all these feelings stop? When will he be out of my head?
thank you for reading my rambles x*x
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I hear you, it’s not ridiculous due to the damage and changes he’s caused to your brain.
I have that guilt and anxiety about certain situations I find myself in or have put myself in. It was strong for weeks, and made my blood drain, I would go hot, feel ashamed, worried, missing him and his guidance, direction and protection. I’d wake in the night and all these things would wash over me, like the walls were closing in. Like what have I done, what if he finds out, it will prove I’m no good and not to be trusted, that I have no respect and don’t deserve him.
I still doubt my decision but those feelings are fading a little as I become used to normal life again. As much as I want to go and have it out with him and see if I can make him see, try again, I know I just can’t compromise myself otherwise things will be far worse next time.
Your friend is either dangerous and not trustworthy or has been fooled by him. Either way my advice would be to not get involved here and to focus on yourself and your kids. You can’t fix that situation nor should you try, it’s messy and extremely disappointing and hurtful. He is not for you, you deserve so much better than someone who can pitch up at your mate’s house whilst you worry about sitting in a public space with other men.
That situation will come to its own conclusion and your energy has to go on you and yours.
Don’t pay any mind to what that might be saying to each other about you, it’ll all be bullsh*t so try to leave the obsessive stuff to them, set yourself free and get clear of it.
It will ease, it won’t be a perfect journey, but you’ll be safe with a chance of a happy future now.
Xxxxx
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