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I ended it in (month removed by Moderator). (number removed by Moderator) months into the relationship.
But I can’t stay away, for longer than (number removed by Moderator) weeks. I’ve since been told I’ve been abused;
I came off socials (number removed by Moderator) months into the relationship because he was accusing every man of being in my inbox (they werent)
He would go nuts when I had my boiler serviced, or changed Internet provider.
He’d call me numerous times a day when I was working just to have me on the phone, he had nothing to say.
He would ask me things about my past and if he didn’t like the answer he’d tell me he didn’t believe me. He (injury removed by Moderator) on holidays with (weapon removed by Moderator) he smashed because he didn’t like an answer.
He hated my one cat to the point he refused to come in the house when ex was home.
He used to threaten to go back to his ex, and accused me of being obsessed with my ex because I told him it was a good relationship because we didn’t argue every 1-2 weeks.
I get accused of him being late for everything, says I am a gaslighter and manipulative, controlling, causing his mental health to get bad.
The list goes on and on and on..
He’s sent me a few bouquets of flowers and chocolates since (month removed by Moderator).
Claims I’m the best thing to ever happen to him, I’m perfect, he loves me, I have a perfect body and goes to name certain features. Offers me a ring, a baby, holidays, tells me he wants me for the rest of his life..Is it me? Am I the bad one? Am I too sensitive? Am I the toxic one? Have I not been empathic enough?
He has destroyed me, I’ve lost (number removed by Moderator)kg (I only weight (number removed by Moderator)kg now) I barely leave my house, only to go to the office (number removed by Moderator) a week…
How do I leave. Should I leave? He’s screaming at me because I won’t go back into a relationship. He’s telling me he is going to hurt himself and that he’s going to the hospital -
Hi Hard-times,
Everything you’ve described is part of the abuse. It isn’t you and it’s not your fault. He is violent, controlling, and emotionally manipulative, none of this behaviour is acceptable. The flowers, chocolates, declarations of love, these are part of the abuse too. Abuse is all about power and control and when an abuser feels their control is threatened by a partner, they will do or say whatever they think will work to stop you leaving or get you to return. It’s very common for abusers to use threats of self-harm and suicide to control.
No one can tell you what you should do, he’s taken so much of your control away, it’s important that these decisions are your own. Keep reaching out for support. Leaving can be a dangerous and difficult time, but you can get support to leave safely from your local domestic abuse service. Hopefully some of the other women here will be able to reply soon to share their experiences with you.
Take care and keep posting,
Lisa
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