I’m out again.

I keep falling into the trap. Some delusional part of me thinks I’m safer if I allow him to have access to me.. I tried keeping it minimal as I didn’t want a relationship again and I just felt when he talked nicely to me it wasn’t that bad.

Until it was bad, and he would find something to argue or shout at me for, or acccuse me of something, or until I refused to do something with him, a date, or even a walk etc.

I had another I can’t do this to myself anymore moment, and blocked him again. He tried calling multiple times in one day, but today was call free.

It felt so good, I haven’t felt anxious that my phone could go off at any time for god knows what reason.

This has been going on over (timeframe removed by Moderator) now, he’d turn up at my house unexpectedly, or send me flowers, message me off a friend or family phone. Am I naive in thinking this time he won’t try anymore? I’m trying my best to stay strong and positive and I feel ready to start finding the old me (before I met him and got stripped of everything)

I can do this right?!