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I’ve made the decision to leave after (number removed by Moderator) years of coercive control, emotional abuse and verbal abuse.
He doesn’t know of my plans yet, but he has noticed I’ve withdrawn and he is needing alot of reassurance which is making me feel very guilty, because i’m essentially lying.
We are having a ‘good spell” at the moment, everything has been good for a few weeks, which is making it harder to act on my plans to leave.
Any strength/advice would be appreciated.
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I hear you.
If it were all bad, we would have left a long time ago eh.
I am feeling this same guilt. Its an obstruction. Im a huge people pleaser so it really goes against the grain. Add to that the fear of being found out. The fallout when you get the blame. And so on. Its REALLY not easy to escape these situations and those that think it is have never had to.
But think on this. Your own language says you know the bad spell is coming back. Good healthy relationships don’t have ‘good spells’ and they don’t leave you dreading the bad returning. Keep making your plans. Babysteps if you have to. Just a little shuffle each day. Sooner or later your partner will remind you why you made the plans in the first place. They can’t help it x
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