• This topic has 2 replies, 2 voices, and was last updated 4 weeks ago by Lisa.
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    • #176663
      sunshineLollypops
      Participant

      I’ve been out of my abusive relationship for some time.
      Finally met someone new, a lovely kind decent man.

      children initially liked new partner.

      Children have contact with their dad (my ex).

      Ex has now found out I have met someone, and I overheard a phone conversation wher he basically said my new partner is using me, he’s ugly and fat.  He said if he sees him he will beat him up.  Said I’m desperate for attention that’s why I’ve got with this guy. Just lots of unkind, untruthful things – he’s never met the guy.

      Told kids not to listen to new boyfriend as he’s not their dad.

      kids are now all saying they hate my new bf which I think is influenced by exh.

      Don’t know what to do, kids want contact with their dad but nothing beneficial is coming from it.

    • #176664
      sunshineLollypops
      Participant

      I have no contact with exh anymore, he arranges to see kids directly.  They have obviously told him I have a new partner.  Kids may have shown him a photo of us together I’m not sure.

      i don’t know if he would beat up new partner, wouldn’t put it past him but have no proof because he is saying it to kids not me.

    • #176702
      Lisa
      Main Moderator

      Hi sunshineLollypops,

      I’m glad that you have someone who treats you kindly. That’s how you deserve to be treated.

      What your ex is doing is really controlling. It’s abusive to you and it’s unfair on the kids. Do you think that he intended for you to overhear what he was saying?

      It must be scary for them to hear their dad say he’s going to beat someone up. You might find the information on the Women’s Aid website around supporting children and young people helpful. You could reach out to your local domestic abuse service to find out of they have children’s support they could offer, many have dedicated workers to support children with the impact of being around abuse. There’s also Family Lives, an organisation who provide support to parents about many different issues.

      Take care and keep posting,
      Lisa

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