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Do you ever try keep the peace or agree with him so other people don’t hear, do you ever cry in silence so no one hears.
(timeframe removed by Moderator) he’s punched me in the arm (number removed by Moderator) times, slapped my arms and head, he’s grabbed hold of my wrists really hard, he’s sworn and shouted and called me names and asked me the same questions on repeat for over a hour.hes was trying to put all these events together and coming up with all these stories on how im this big cheat.
ive tried to be so quiet so my children and neighbours don’t hear because im so ashamed.fortunately the children stayed asleep but im sure all around us may have heard him.
i tried to tell him i dont deserve to be hit whatever he’s thinks of me but he says he’s so angry and I’ve mentally hurt him
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He has been like this (timeframe removed by Moderator), slapped me in the face and cornered me in rooms, blocking the door.
telling me I can be in the same room as him and the kids.i didn’t cry (timeframe removed by Moderator), just agreed with him to try and make him stop shouting, about how rubbish I am, how I don’t deserve him and he’s too good for me.
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Even with my non violent current partner (big on twisting things/guilt trip/DARVO not actually physical stuff) I find myself doing this.
Also I was raised in a very controlling household/had a violent partner in the past…every instance the same. ‘We don’t talk about it outside’ and peace relied on my silence/compliance.
Is it because you’re ashamed or because if other people found out the expectations to leave/possible repercussions would be too much to deal with.
I had a neighbour enquire after me once. I avoided her ever since that day. I wasn’t ready to leave then and I couldn’t handle others perceptions. Pity. Disbelief if you were honest. Annoyance that you don’t just walk away, as if it should be easy (its not) Shame that I ALLOW it. Not really but…no choice sometimes.
All of these complex feelings/interactions and more are what keep us stuck there, never mind the fear of what happens after. The great unknown
I hope you are OK. Take the easy days when they come, and on the hard ones observe and learn if you can. Use it to fuel your escape. If you want out but you’re not ready, put tiny things in place to make it easier if you do decide to go x
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