I’m back

Hi

was here ages ago

was great support I tell myself things have been ok but that’s just usual me lying and covering up

abusive partner long gone never heard a word after the discard

but the issue is and always has been my abusive son

I’ve lived many many years in fear of him

im trained to be a certain way around him watching what I say etc knowing the signs

he is in a relationship now so left living with me so some would say you not living it now like before

but people have no idea how I am how I feel

still the walking on eggshells the blow ups if I say the wrong thing

(timeframe removed by Moderator) being one of those days

been accused of being to hard work always wanting to see him

that they don’t see any family as much as they see me

how I get the hump if they say no to me

I get (length of time removed by Moderator) a week contact

partner pretty much ignores me when I’m there

not allowed to call him only text

if I do call I get shut down quick

so you end up trained not to call

Everything on his terms

I’m owed money by both of them and there always excuses why it’s not being paid back but there spending on them selves

everyone in the family has others I live alone is it really that bad to want to see them once a week

it felt like he wanted a row (timeframe removed by Moderator)

and after he stormed out I was left paralysed with anxiety as I can’t live without this child in my life

it’s been a life of abuse parents husband partners and child

I really must deserve it