Men

At the moment the abusive people in my life with the patterns and behaviours of abusers happen to be women. My boss. She is lying about staff, manipulating staff, gas-lighting staff, wanting to dominate and control the workplace using domination and control interspersed with nasty/nice (head-wrecking) behaviours.

There are also three other female work-colleagues with the same bullying behaviours. A few others (females) have joined them in their bullying behaviours, probably because they realize they will be a target if they don’t join them. Fear can do that to people. No excuse though, their behaviour still causes a lot of hurt and distress to others and especially vulnerable people (who should be protected not bullied).

One man in my workplace (another boss) is being manipulated and controlled by the other bully-boss. I’d say he goes home from work with his mind and emotions in a mess and confused to what’s going on. (because of the nasty/nice behaviour).

The other man in my workplace is being bullied by the other bully-boss and the 3 other abuser work-colleagues. Both these men are kind, caring men but unfortunately they have no awareness around abusers so are ‘hoodwinked’ all the time. There is one other man in the workplace with abuser-type behaviours.

My mother was the abuser. My father had the kind, caring nature.
My grandmother was the abuser. My grandfather who was abused by her ended up a ‘shell’ on himself and shook with his nerves. My grandmother modelled abusive behaviour. Her 2 sons (my uncles) chose not to ‘copy’ her abusive behaviour. They are kind, caring and honest men. My mother chose to adopt her abusive mother’s patterns and behaviours even though she knew it was wrong, even though she knew it caused distress and pain to other human beings but these behaviours gave her advantages in life that the other behaviours (kind, caring) did not. My mother then went on to abuse my father. He died never having lived a life free of abuse.

My mother then went on to abuse me. My brother adopted her abusive patterns and behaviours. I then went unto marry an abusive man.

I recently had to let go of 2 female friend with the patterns and behaviours of abusers.

At the moment in my experience I have been on the receiving end of more female abusers than male abusers.

I have female abusers in my family. But my father was abusive in ways too, and I married an abusive man.

My ex boss ( female) didn’t directly bully me, but was bullying in general.

One of my uncles by marriage is a bully, and my aunt ( his wife) is a shell of herself, having had multiple nervous breakdowns.

I think my sister bullies her husband.

Wherever humans are, there is a possibility of abuse – but there are many good people too.