- This topic has 9 replies, 5 voices, and was last updated 7 years, 8 months ago by godschild.
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22nd August 2016 at 11:26 pm #25762SilkyHalideParticipant
So I’ve met his new lady friend.
She’s very attractive and friendly.
I was ok but now I’m not. I’m obsessed to find out all about her. I don’t want him so I don’t know why it feels like a kick in the guts. -
22nd August 2016 at 11:27 pm #25763SilkyHalideParticipant
She’s very successful too
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23rd August 2016 at 12:06 am #25765SerenityParticipant
Hi Silky,
I think you might want to know more because you might be comparing yourself?
You might be wondering what attracts him to her and maybe you want to understand how come he is nice to her and why?
Suffice to say he will have some selfish motive, and it won’t be hearts and flowers forever!
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23rd August 2016 at 6:20 am #25772HealthyarchiveBlocked
Dear Silky, this is a completely natural and normal reaction. I told myself when we split, absolutely no snooping, searching or investigating on my part. I cut him off and every associate from all social media that way the chances of me seeing or hearing something are minimal. I think he did the same to me which doubles it. This was to protect my happiness. If I were you I would take the same approach, what you dont know cannot hurt you. At the same time don’t forget what you had when you were with him. I dont know your story in full but I’m guessing this was an abusive relationship. You have said she is attractive etc, the stats are high they they target the attractive successful ones. As I said to Betterdays, just give it time. He will start the devaluation, it normally starts one month on. Once an abuser always an abuser. Try not to worry about this. X*X
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23rd August 2016 at 7:16 am #25778SilkyHalideParticipant
Thanks Serenity and HA
HA the problem is I can’t switch off completely because of the kids.
That’s why I met her it was a tricky handover. Unavoidable but I was great at the time. He looked a bit baffled which helped me. I had good friend with me and knew he wouldn’t create a drama with his new partner there. -
23rd August 2016 at 7:17 am #25779SilkyHalideParticipant
Saying that I’ve been very strong not to snoop but something just drove me to check her out.
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23rd August 2016 at 7:24 am #25781SilkyHalideParticipant
He held me back and I could have been more successful if he and other bullies at work stamped me down.
Now I can’t work due to mental state. The best years of my children’s childhood were a mess and I spent years in fear of my own shadow. -
23rd August 2016 at 7:27 am #25782SilkyHalideParticipant
Yes I’m jealous but don’t wish her any bad will.
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23rd August 2016 at 1:31 pm #25826MillionpiecesParticipant
I spoke to the women that my ex cheated on me. She’s young and naive and I know the most reason my ex continue that relationship is bcoz he knows he can not control me and I found him cheated is something that unforgivable. I was so angry, jelous, but I don’t even care anymore about them. I just wish he doesn’t abuse her not bcoz she better than me but finally he realise that is not he suppose to treat someone love him.
Well that’s life, I have been abused and I know how hard I have to cope everything and I don’t want anyone including her to feel how I feel.
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23rd August 2016 at 5:48 pm #25853godschildParticipant
Hi, you are bound to have these feelings, he treated you badly, you will look to see why he maybe isnt treating her this way “yet ” , you will feel why did her do it to me, I expect you wonder how your girls feel towards her as well although you dont want him, she has in some part taken what should have been yours if he had not abused you, I think any of us would feel inquisitive xx
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