leaving for refuge soon

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    • 6th October 2016 at 4:15 pm #29606
      Ariel
      Participant

      Hi I’ve been reading the survivors forum for a few years now. Everyone is so brave.
      I’m about to leave my controlling partner of (detail removed by moderator)years. We have (detail removed by moderator)  children together the oldest 2 want to stay in our home with him (which was hard to take at first) but I understand their reasons. He has never been violent to them thank god and only violent to me whenever I’ve tried to split up from him. Which is why I’ve got to use refuge. Me and my youngest will go until he settles down.
      I’m getting more nervous as the day I leave approaches but I look and read all your posts for inspiration and support.

    • 6th October 2016 at 7:03 pm #29614
      Malaya
      Participant

      Hi Ariel. Well done for making that decision and I don’t imagine it was easy to hear your older kids want to stay with him. I hope it all goes smoothly for you getting out. Have you got a safety plan on how you are going to get out?

      I don’t know if going in a refuge means you automatically get put on a freedom programme but I’d recommend it. It is helping me a lot

      Keep us updated x*x

      • 3rd December 2016 at 5:53 am #33790
        Silks
        Participant

        Ariel,

        I have never been in a refuge but I did get out of an abusive marriage and it wasnt easy but I never regretted it. My eldest daughter didnt want to come with me so I left with the two youngest. Shortly afterwards my (detail removed by moderator) came back to live with me when she got pregnant and her dad had started to abuse her and threw a music centre at her missing her by inches. She snuck out when he fell asleep. My grandson was the light at the end of a very dark tunnel. unfortunately his dad was young and didnt take any responsibility.

        Get out and you will start to live again.

        Silks

    • 6th October 2016 at 7:30 pm #29619
      Ariel
      Participant

      Thank you for replying. Yes I have a plan ready. I have a small bag of necessities ready. I don’t know what the freedom plan is but I’ll ask about it. Thank you. I’m glad it is helping you x

    • 6th October 2016 at 8:25 pm #29627
      older lady
      Participant

      Good luck. I really feel for you and your children. Please take care until you have safely left. Xx

    • 6th October 2016 at 10:52 pm #29650
      Positiveandlookingahead
      Participant

      Hello there. Good luck with it all! I hope it goes as best as it possibly can. I can assure you that you aren’t alone please speak to the helpline and make sure your exit is as safe as it possibly can be x

    • 6th October 2016 at 11:33 pm #29655
      Malaya
      Participant

      The freedom programme is a course all about domestic abuse. It helps answer our questions like how did I end up being so brainwashed, Why does he say/ do that, how can I move on with my life
      It covers all aspects of abuse, the abuser and the victim. It helps a lot and you meet other women in your situation.

      If you phone the helpline or talk to the refuge staff I’m sure they’ll help find one for you xx

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