- This topic has 11 replies, 6 voices, and was last updated 8 years, 1 month ago by
.
-
Posts
-
-
My ex has now said if I don’t let him have what he wants we can both turn up at the school gates and our young son can decide who he wants to go home with…
Does he even understand what that would do to a child and how horrible it is to even contemplate putting a child in that position or am I over reacting?
-
-
-
This just proves how abusive he is.
My ex used the school gates as a vehicle for abuse: a couple of times he has tried to force my eldest to restart contact with him by approaching him at the school gate in front of his friends- thinking my eldest will be too embarrassed to turn him away in front of his friends.
Your ex is thinking the same- that he can get your child to do as he wants by catching him in a situation where he can’t escape and will be too embarrassed to stand up to his dad.
And there is the covert threat to your child of ‘if you displease me, I will humiliate you in front of others at the school.’ He’s ruling your child by fear- or trying to.
These abusers are cruel, predatory monsters.
I would advise calling the NSPCC helpline on 0808 800 5000. They were such a help to me. X
-
Tha kyou that is such a help. When I replied saying it was cruel and I couldn’t believe he would do that his response was I was doing it. Why can’t he ever take any responsibility for anything I actually can’t ever remember a time when he took even partial responsibility for anything.
Even if I allowed that to happen he wouod choose his dad and he knows this. Our son wouldn’t be allowed d to choose me.up till that poijt I had almost believed him when he said he wanted more time because our son was better with him and he cared above ut him. Ifhe really cared he wouldn’t have even contemplated that. I feel like I am slowly pulling back the curtain and I don’t like what its revealing -
I’ve actually had my ex turn up at school when i was there for collecting him.
It was awful, luckerly he had been threatening to do this for ages so I told a friend, went to the classroom and asked for him making an excuse then ran crazy with him with my friend helping to the car. Was awful, really feel for you. With parental responsibility they can collect from school anytime despite specific court orders as school did nothing.
My son wasn’t aware his dad was at the school, after that for a while I collected my son from the office. Even now He just turns up Very early (two hours )to collect and school and educational body do nothing -cos of parental responsibility, went back to court and they did nothing either as school had allowed it.
Like you my son would never stand up to his dad.
I think on a positive note have a plan of what you would do if he turned up, make sure in the car have money,petrol, phone etc if he’s likely to follow you . So ensure you don’t need to go straight Home as obviously he would turn up there and cause a scene. I would make the school aware too, remember you can call the police whilst driving in an emergency (I never knew this).
I thought it was only me having an ex like that. -
Hi there, what you have to know is that he will use anything to try and gain back control. I’ve been through this with our son. I would suggest you take the issue of access to court and show the court the texts and any other information you have to show his dysfunctional behaviour. Once there is a court order in place, he will find it much harder to use your son this way. I found it totally shocking to realise that my ex would ruin my sons career prospects and even put him at risk with the law. They really really don’t care about anyone but themselves. Once you understand this, you can make plans to cut him out as much as you can. Keep all this evidence you have. A court won’t look kindly on this behaviour X
-
Does this mean if I ring the school and have a word with his teacher and make her aware of the situation thry might allow me to collect my son early once a week? He works full time and I can arrange my work hours to ensure I can be at the school on time to collect him four days a week. Usually his dads muk does school collections on his behalf as works so I know he might be able to threaten this once a week he can’t do it everyday and I only need to keep it so my son is with me four days a week until it gets to court and that is made offical.
If I could collect him early one day it would mean I would be there before his dad had a chance to even if he was able to male it in time for the end of school. I hope that makes sense I am not sure it does :p -
-
Hi, my ex has been doing similar on a daily basis for some time now, despite the court order. My son is getting extremely distressed by it. I’m hoping I may have managed to put a stop to it but we’ll see after half term. They really are despicable men and not fit to be parents. Fingers crossed for us both x*x
-
Hey Hun
Def speak to school and explain the sceanrio, they will allow u to collect your child early from office, they may not like it but your main focus is to not cause distress to your child, infact when u speak to them just say i will be collecting my child on x days a at this time due to scenario, dont ask can i just say i will be ….
-
Thankyou so much ladies its such a help to have people to turn to. When I confronted him and told him it was a horrible thing for him to do his response was “you will be doing it”. So its all me again because I won’t give him what he wants.
They are just like babies my (age removed by moderator) has more maturity than he displays.
@pp I am so sorry your ex is behaving like this. How can they get away with it if there is a court order, the system should really come down hard on them what is the point in putting everyone through court if it doesn’t stick. It makes me so mad they are allowed to get away with it. I wish I had never put his name on ours birth certificate then he would have no power to be such a well I can’t put what he is hut just insert a expletive there.
-
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.
