So I’m new to this…

I don’t know where to start. I was only (age removed by moderator) when I met him, just finished high school, applying for college and planning my future. How it all changed… months was all I got before his attitude changed, he changed. (detail removed by moderator) I stayed with him for, I hate to say it but I did love him once upon a time. We did have happy times in those years but I couldn’t help but feel unhappy. It was only a month before our (detail removed by moderator) anniversary my eyes were finally opened to the truth of our relationship, by a neighbour. I don’t know which part I hate more, the fact that I was dumb enough to not realise or the fact I let this happen. I always said from the beginning cheat or hit me and I’ll be gone. Pfft yeah right (detail removed by moderator) years later and I’m still there. But anyway so I finally got out (detail removed by moderator) but I won’t lie I was so scared to tell him it was over I told him we were going to try long distance. It took (detail removed by moderator) months of being away from him to finally tell him it was over. (Yes for  months I pretended to be with him quietly). He still tried to control me and abuse me through the internet an yet I still loved him. (detail removed by moderator) By this point I had moved into a womens refuge (he didn’t know). (detail removed by moderator) and he was still giving me abuse online, still playing mind games, manipulating me, offering me the chance to get back with him. I remember that night clear as day, I told him no. Since that day our contact has been very limited. That’s not to say he hasn’t tried to get his way and get me back, despite him having a new gf and knowing full well I am myself in a new relationship. Point is after (detail removed by moderator) years of living with someone, loving them with every piece of you, being so young and yet almost marrying a man who abuses you, I finally realised that’s not love. And even though there may be some days when I struggle to come to terms with what he put me through every day, I hate the flash backs I really do, I hate seeing anything that is connected to him (clothes, people, photos etc), I hate hearing his name, thinking of him gives me shudders! But during all those times I’m glad that after all that I finally have a boyfriend that loves me, supports me, an helps me grow as a person. I went through hell an back with my ex for  years and of him messing with my head as much as he could, and then I had a few bad experiences with men after but (detail removed by moderator) months after walking out that door I finally met someone who makes me happy, who tells me I’m beautiful every morning, who gets so angry he could hit him but could never hurt the ones he loves! I don’t know where I was going with this, oh yeah so basically I just wanted people to see that even though it’s horrible leaving and being in a womens refuge sucks it lead me to where I am now, in my own home, I am able to have a job,independence, I have (detail removed by moderator)dogs and boyfriend that I’ve been with for almost  (detail removed by moderator)months and I’m happier and more in love with him than I ever thought could be possible after how much my ex destroyed me. There is hope for the future then guys even if you can’t see it!!