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Left feeling really low. I don’t phone the local WA helpline too often but I will have to face my abuser soon so I rang the helpline for advice and support. I told her I had used the helpline before and it had helped me. She let me talk for 20 minutes then told me that their policy for ‘repeat callers’ was 20 minutes. She made me feel like some sort of nuisance. Irrelevant and not worth her time. Not how we should be treated when we are already fragile and low in the self esteem department.
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Hi KIP how are you? I’m sorry to hear this happened to you but maybe you could try telephoning the Samaritans. They aren’t as specialised as the helpline are but there is always someone on the phone ready to speak with you and it might make you feel better by getting whatever is worrying you off your chest. I haven’t had a bad experience with the Samaritans. Private message if it helps you can talk to me x
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So sorry, KIP.
On the one hand, it reflects the sad fact that many women are being abused and calling for help. They are overburdened. What a sad state of affairs. What is this world like?!
On the other hand, it sounds like she was showing less compassion than needed. Whether frazzled, overworked or following orders, it’s wrong.
Thank God we have this forum, where we know we can post at any time and find others who completely understand the pain.
You’ll be ok, KIP. You’re an amazingly strong and wise woman and you’re able to cope with this last stage.
Don’t believe his fake ‘all-powerful, puffed up confidence facade’- underneath, he’s fretting and quaking, because he knows you’ve got him by the proverbials.😊
Have faith in yourself. You’ll be fine, as I was, (detail removed by Moderator) and also he’s a cliched liar. He’s transparent. x
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Sorry you’re feeling so low. I have had similar experiences in the past with my local WA outreach service when my anxiety was at its worst. It’s so invalidating and made me feel worthless which was the last thing I needed.
We’re all here for you, backing you up. We have such faith in your incredible strength xx -
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Thank you all for your supportive messages, they really do help. I wish they had something on their website telling victims about the 20 minute limit. I now understand and I’m prepared if I ring again to have my stop watch next to me lol. It’s not so much the time limit as I can understand if they don’t have the resources but it should be advised next to the helpline number. Or even at the beginning of the conversation. That would make more sense than waiting till I’m so low and vulnerable and desperate for help to then be cut off. Thanks again. And Serenity is right about his fake puffed up confident facade.
Transparent cliched liar. Just need to keep reminding myself of that x-
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Hi Kim I’m so sorry this happened to you, I’ve found exactly the same right across the board, From GP to WA even friends, we have so much we desperately need & want to say, I bottle everything up my head feels like it will explode, we are desperately wanting to be heard & helped, & when cut short you feel like why did I bother. I wasn’t allowed to talk about how he made me feel to him he would talk over me & rant me down, I don’t know how others feel when like you say Kip you were cut short, I know so many people desperately need help, but when this happens to me it is just another reminder of what we’ve already suffered or suffering x
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Ps sorry I meant Kip x
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Dear Kip
Sorry about your negative experience.
This is especially hard when we feel low and struggling with self esteem issues.On top of that, even more difficult when we are isolated living alone and/or dont work.
Sometimes I think people working with survivors do get compassion fatigue as they become insensitive to the pain of others and it is not right at all.
Several years back when I was in meltdown,I rang a well known helpline to discuss my life of abuse.The woman sounded like a warm-hearted granny type.At the end I thanked her for her time etc. It was ruined when her response was: Yes and stop using the word abuse,dear….!!? Feelings of devastation followed and I had to teach myself that the organisation had no training in abuse issues. it took a while to build trust but I reminded myself eventually that supportive people are around too.I even wrote this on paper like a mantra along with symbols like stars or hearts to help glue the fact into my mind.Remember all the women here who know and understand this pain.
Take care and treat yourself to something nice.
Jupiter xx -
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Thanks again. Something else she asked after 20 minutes was if she could ask my age group and first part of my post code! Obviously for funding or stat purposes. W*f. It’s all becoming so impersonal. In the beginning there was no recorded message for press 1 for this or 2 for that. There was a lovely Irish lady who had been through abuse and totally got it. Now it seems to be more training but no experience. Feeling better today. Thanks again for all the supportive messages. This forum is invaluable. Have a great evening ladies x
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