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I had to get my mother to drive (detail removed by Moderator) hours at 3am (she is nearly (detail removed by Moderator)) to come and be with me because I woke at 2am with the worst panic and anxiety! I feel so awful. I just cant stop crying today, it just hits me out of the blue and I feel overwhelmed by life and unable to face the simplest of things. I can feed and dress my kids and get them off to school with no problem but then I crumple and just cry. I have been fine for nearly a month having had a breakdown a month ago but now I feel like I’ve plumpitted right back down again despite doing LOADS to try and tackle it… volunteer gardening, councilling, medication, breathing… I feel like the harder I fight, the harder it is to tackle yet it always comes back!! I HATE IT! I just want to enjoy my new freedom and life again. I dont want to be anxious and depressed.
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Hey there. Something very similar happened to me. My son rang my sister and she had to come over and see me hysterical. I just couldn’t turn it off. What the doctors failed to tell me was that trauma can come back and bite you even when you think you’re recovered. The recovery periods last longer and longer as long as you’re getting the correct help. Then out of the blue, wham. But each bout should last less and less. It’s totally exhausting but for me it was all just part of the recovery. So if you need extra help just now then that’s absolutely fine but I’m resigned to the fact that I will have to live with the result of his abuse and the trauma he has left me with for the rest of my life. Which I’m okay with. I know why I feel the way I do and I can research the things I need to do to help myself. I just wish the doctors had been upfront and told me this in the beginning. Just enjoy the good days and keep a diary when you’re feeling great, write all the good stuff in there. Then on down days you can see you can enjoy life once again.
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