Resurfacing

Been a while since I posted here but I struggle from time to time. Feels like the time has passed when I could openly discuss this with friends because it is too much all the time.

Was in floods of tears (detail removed by Moderator) after a concert because of songs that reminded me of times together.

Stomach has been in knots the past few days and lost my appetite, really really anxious just because it is his birthday (detail removed by Moderator). It shouldn’t even matter, I don’t know why it seems to matter and why I feel this way, but sometimes I think to myself, I am really not okay with any of this and what has happened, and he is off with his new supply and I feel like I cannot trust anybody let alone muster the confidence and energy to date.