- This topic has 6 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 7 years, 10 months ago by
Thursdayschild.
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22nd October 2017 at 2:46 pm #49094
mayflower
Participantapologies for posting yet again about the same thing
I should have this sorted in my head by now, right?
professionals and mh staff saying what he did was wrong
what he did was sxl abuse (amongst the other stuff)yet my head wont allow it to be that
and how on earth can I go for counselling about it when it isn’t
what they all say it isI’m sorry because although it wont sort in my head I shouldn’t keep
on and on about it
I just feel so guilty and so scared that I am waiting for the counselling
under false pretences
and that they will suddenly say how bad I am for wasting their time and getting it wrongpeople have said ‘but you know the truth really, you know it was s/a, deep down’
but no
deep inside I feel convinced it was my fault and I caused it all
and that it will finally be revealed to all -
22nd October 2017 at 7:06 pm #49099
Falling Skys
ParticipantHi MF
No one asks to be abuse, its not your fault, abusers make you feel that its your fault counselling will help you sort out the confusion in your head.
I have had rape counselling and it really help me. Just take having a sounding board where no one is shocked is invaluable.
FS xx
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23rd October 2017 at 9:57 pm #49154
mayflower
Participantthank you for your support
it is on continual reply in my head
I am wondering if I could ring the helpline about this
but I don’t want to waste their time when they are dealing with people still living with abusethere are things I need to talk through but I seem to talk and talk and remain stuck
last year I was all set to do the freedom programme, but never got myself together to commit to walking through the door
there is lots of conflict in my head that makes everything so difficult
I don’t know what else to do
I feel such a betrayer of him – still -
23rd October 2017 at 10:15 pm #49158
mayflower
Participant*replay* not reply
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25th October 2017 at 8:17 pm #49234
Lisa
Main ModeratorHello mayflower,
Please do ring the 24hr National Domestic Violence Helpline when you can, the Helpline Workers can listen and talk things through with you. They are available on 0808 2000 247. If you are unable to get through then there is a voicemail service to request a call back. You won’t be wasting anyones time.
Best wishes,
Lisa
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25th October 2017 at 9:22 pm #49240
mayflower
Participantoh thank you so much lisa
for you reassuranceI am finding it so very hard to change what seems to be at my core
and feel a constant need to talk about it but always worry about who will want to listen -
28th October 2017 at 6:28 pm #49398
Thursdayschild
ParticipantHi Mayflower
I think the main thing to realise is that there’s no right or wrong way to deal with the thoughts and feelings you’re having. Please keep trying until you find a method that works for you.
I’m currently training to be a counsellor myself and the training has unexpectedly caused me to have lots of flashbacks and panic attacks related to my abusive marriage and also a sexual assault in my teens.
It was suggested to me to look at Babette Rothchild on You Tube-she suggests that for some people in can do more harm than good to keep revisiting or confronting the traumas/abuse. I’m not saying that’s the case with you but I’m just trying to reassure you that we are all different and that you will, eventually, turn a corner and slowly start to recover.
So be kind to yourself and do what feels right for you.Thursdays Child
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