Viewing 6 reply threads
  • Author
    Posts
    • #49094
      mayflower
      Participant

      apologies for posting yet again about the same thing
      I should have this sorted in my head by now, right?
      professionals and mh staff saying what he did was wrong
      what he did was sxl abuse (amongst the other stuff)

      yet my head wont allow it to be that
      and how on earth can I go for counselling about it when it isn’t
      what they all say it is

      I’m sorry because although it wont sort in my head I shouldn’t keep
      on and on about it
      I just feel so guilty and so scared that I am waiting for the counselling
      under false pretences
      and that they will suddenly say how bad I am for wasting their time and getting it wrong

      people have said ‘but you know the truth really, you know it was s/a, deep down’

      but no
      deep inside I feel convinced it was my fault and I caused it all
      and that it will finally be revealed to all

    • #49099
      Falling Skys
      Participant

      Hi MF

      No one asks to be abuse, its not your fault, abusers make you feel that its your fault counselling will help you sort out the confusion in your head.

      I have had rape counselling and it really help me. Just take having a sounding board where no one is shocked is invaluable.

      FS xx

    • #49154
      mayflower
      Participant

      thank you for your support

      it is on continual reply in my head

      I am wondering if I could ring the helpline about this
      but I don’t want to waste their time when they are dealing with people still living with abuse

      there are things I need to talk through but I seem to talk and talk and remain stuck

      last year I was all set to do the freedom programme, but never got myself together to commit to walking through the door

      there is lots of conflict in my head that makes everything so difficult

      I don’t know what else to do
      I feel such a betrayer of him – still

    • #49158
      mayflower
      Participant

      *replay* not reply

    • #49234
      Lisa
      Main Moderator

      Hello mayflower,

      Please do ring the 24hr National Domestic Violence Helpline when you can, the Helpline Workers can listen and talk things through with you. They are available on 0808 2000 247. If you are unable to get through then there is a voicemail service to request a call back. You won’t be wasting anyones time.

      Best wishes,

      Lisa

    • #49240
      mayflower
      Participant

      oh thank you so much lisa
      for you reassurance

      I am finding it so very hard to change what seems to be at my core
      and feel a constant need to talk about it but always worry about who will want to listen

    • #49398
      Thursdayschild
      Participant

      Hi Mayflower

      I think the main thing to realise is that there’s no right or wrong way to deal with the thoughts and feelings you’re having. Please keep trying until you find a method that works for you.
      I’m currently training to be a counsellor myself and the training has unexpectedly caused me to have lots of flashbacks and panic attacks related to my abusive marriage and also a sexual assault in my teens.
      It was suggested to me to look at Babette Rothchild on You Tube-she suggests that for some people in can do more harm than good to keep revisiting or confronting the traumas/abuse. I’m not saying that’s the case with you but I’m just trying to reassure you that we are all different and that you will, eventually, turn a corner and slowly start to recover.
      So be kind to yourself and do what feels right for you.

      Thursdays Child

Viewing 6 reply threads
  • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.

© 2025 Women's Aid Federation of England – Women’s Aid is a company limited by guarantee registered in England No: 3171880.

Women’s Aid is a registered charity in England No. 1054154

Terms & conditionsPrivacy & cookie policySite mapProtect yourself onlineMedia │ JobsAccessibility Guide

Log in with your credentials

or    

Forgot your details?

Create Account

Skip to content