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I would be interested to hear how many of us have actually or nearly returned because of bad advice from solicitors/barristers? I’ve just read a post where someone almost went back, with a small child, to a violent man. If it hadn’t been for Women’s Aid I would have ended up back with a violent man who had actually been charged after threatening to kill me. The solicitor told me the courts are “very loathe to give occupation orders as it means someone will be homeless”. I felt utterly defeated, I had left and needed to sell the house so I could start a new life, he was messing around ensuring it would never be sold and no one could help. Everything is on track now, thanks to Women’s Aid, but without them I would have been homeless and penniless or back with a man who planned to kill me. I am hoping that the other member and my experience with solicitors is not the norm – anyone?
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My first solicitor was useless. She was actually going to tell his solicitor we needed his new address to serve him an occupation order. I panicked and said we shouldn’t be letting him know anything. Turns out he could have gone straight to court and blocked the action before we served it. She also told me when we looked at the finances first that the house would have to be sold. Total rubbish. She hadn’t even had the pensions valued at this time. That’s the closest I came to returning. I was distraught. Eventually I changed solicitor, made a complaint against her and got all my money back plus compensation. And she sold herself on having experience of domestic abuse. My psychologist was even worse. Made me feel the abuse was all my fault. I stayed for years after that. Untrained people should never be allowed near victims.
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I had really bad advice from my first solicitor.. I was trying to escape my abuser because I was close to a breakdown and he was trying to set me up gathering evidence to try and destroy me.. She told me to stay and that a judge could demand me and the children return if we did leave… Womens aid and another solicitor told me to pack my bags and get away ASAP… I did
Glad you got the help you needed and got away it’s a scary time I don’t know where I’d be without women’s aid
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I’m not sure MEL best to check with women’s aid and/or rights of women.
Might put your mind at rest.On the whole I had decent advice from my solicitor. However
one thing I flatly refused to do – before the residence hearing she was
trying to pressure me to send my babes back to ex for a visit.Instead of doing that I followed my gut, I felt that if she went there she
would never come back. I feel I was right.She didn’t go back until we had something in place legally.
Looking back I can understand why my solicitor wanted me to show I was ‘cooperativev’
there have sadly been enough cases as featured in the report where women perceived to be uncooperative the judge has given residence to the other party. It is terrifying.ftc
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My solicitor was lovely, however mediation was an utter disaster and I would have lost everything if I had followed their advice, but my gut instinct told me to get a second opinion and walk away from mediation.
My advice is to always walk away from your solicitor or mediator and go to someone else if they are not doing their jobs properly.
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