Maybe it will be useful for someone else too

Ever since my uni started in September I started feeling very low, unable to concentrate, overwhelmed with amount of work I have to do and not being able to do anything, just stare at the screen. It came as a surprise as in summer I felt on top of the world thinking my life is soo much better now and I am happy. And now all my insecurities and feeling worthless, hopeless etc came back. That feeling that I am inferior to anyone cos of my past, feeling that I am not smart enough for my course…. And I was almost in tears this weekend unable to study at all for my exam tomorrow. (Yesterday I just wandered around my house in despair). And there is something I have done as a last resort and I think it worked a bit, as it helped me to do what I am supposed to do and study.
And I thought maybe it would be helpful to someone else who suddenly feels that everything is wrong and you are unable to cope with day to day things.
I took a shower. I washed my hair. And then despite not having to go anywhere I put my make up on and lip gloss. And then I looked at myself in a mirror and out loud I complimented myself of how beautiful I look. How smart I am. How beautiful my body, and my skin are. And how I have power to do anything. I told myself to calm down. And I had this monologue for about 10 min. And it did make me feel better. I stopped having this urge to cry, or scratch myself (as the only thing what was stopping me was long lasting scars). I came back to my desk with the attitude I don’t need to get a top mark, but I need to study something and prepare to pass it.
And I ordered pizza although this weekend I had a very low interest in food.
Maybe it sounds silly, but it did make me relax.