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HI – The rate for prosecution for rape / sexual assault is 3% of all allegations, sad but true. Has anyone experience of the above and how to manage and navigate life during this difficult process. ? The agencies are helpful but v busy.
How to maintain sanity and dignity and energy when in all likelihood, men get away with the above on the whole for numerous reasons ? How to remind oneself that a report was made for the right reasons (to protect others) even when there is a 97 % likelihood that it might feel in vein/ used state resources and that the person will get away with it. It is a difficult territory, and difficult to go through.
Any thoughts appreciated. x
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Thanks, a helpful angle. I think i am working through it, processing it etc in the best way i can. There are so many questions and levels (personal and wider gender and legal/ societal issues ) . I know I have done the right thing in the report I made yet scared for being strong enough to cope seeing someone get away with violating me (because I know it is highly likely he will not be prosecuted so the statistics tell me ) . Still, much to be grateful for and I will move forward. x
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I reported my ex. I also reported an historic rape and became confused between the historic incident and my ex.
My ex has been No Further Actioned which means that if anyone else comes forward the police will jump on him. In some ways I am glad that I don’t have to stand as a witness to a criminal prosecution. The police got him out of the house and have been an extraordinary support. They told me that things are changing. By reporting things now they build a body of information. Although prosecution often isn’t possible, without the information nothing can change.
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The assaults were in (Detail removed by Moderator), now Oct and I dont know the persons name who did it because I was a victim of grooming and all info he gave was false. It is horrendous . My local police force told me to go away , it was only when I emailed the chief Constable of the county I live in that the CID contacted me. This IS an extention of family based violence yet the moderator on this site removed my first post and failed to respond to me email about that. This is really sad and concerning!!!! I am really concerned that adult grooming and rape (on line and in person ) does not fit into ANY catagory inc WOMENS AID and that the law has not caught up with this widespread criminal behaviour , hence people know they will get away with it.
I (try ) to get on with life despite what I am going through and I am strong. If this rings any bells with anyone it would be good to hear from you even if views and experiences are different . thanks x
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Hey there. Well done for contacting the chief constable. I found dealing with the police was hit or miss. I had some truly awful ones and some that were fantastic. If you find a helpful one make sure you get their name and a contact number. I found victim support helped me fight my corner and rape Crisis helped me understand. All these agencies are stretched so you have to keep going and not give up. Don’t know why your post was removed, it may have been for your own safety as you don’t want to post anything that may identify you. The good thing about women’s aid forum is that you can start your own thread on different topics. I too feel I was groomed in my teens and sexually assaulted. I’m pursuing this too. I’m wondering if the adult grooming would come under coercive control in law? I think there are laws and definitions but the word grooming isn’t a legal term I believe. Keep going because I bet he’s done it to others too. Get the police to do their job. I involved my MP too. She was great x
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Thanks for your post and very much good wishes with all you have going on, IMHO the Police should not be hit or miss but time and time and time again it is (this is not because they are stretched, it is because they are not trained correctly in this massive area of policing ) it should not be about their opinions but it often is time and time again. The front line Police in my town a few months ago told me to go away ( not their job ) and so did the sexual liason officer. Now with CID. The crimes were a few months ago. No, womens aid didnt remove it because it could identify me, it was because they said it was not relevent to this forum ! Yes I suspect he continues to be prolific. But I am at empty and exhausted, partly because these crimes apparently don’t fit into any ‘box’.
Yes the agencies do appear to be v stretched. I am not entitled to victim support because there is rape crisis instead. I will do my best and look again at co ersive control . I do feel that the law has not caught up with on line and in person grooming and fake identities , particularly targeting people who are vulnerable for a variety of reasons. x
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It was many months ago that the person committed crimes against me using false ID etc. Still I dont know the persons name who raped me. They are so skilled at false identity that they might be reading and respond to this post. Does anyone have experience of this / the Police taking many many months to identify someone (before they likely tell me there will be no further action ) ?
Grooming of women for the purposes of sexual exploitation, sexual gain, sexual control, rape and assault is currently not illegal in the UK – what a sad, shambolic reality. This has been confirmed by the Police today .
And so it will go on and on and on esp with on line tools and a 97 % chance of getting away with it.
It leaves me very exhausted and angry and sad. But with hope that in a few centuries time the law may be a little more enlightened.
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