- This topic has 6 replies, 6 voices, and was last updated 6 years, 4 months ago by
Sunshine.
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3rd October 2018 at 2:29 pm #65046
Butterflylady
ParticipantI was wondering if anyone could help me with this. I left a (detail removed by moderator) long relationship in (month removed by moderator). My ex had mental health problems and was very verbally and emotionally abusive and on the odd occasion physically abusive too.
Since I left things got much worse- very abusive accusatory emails, texts, malicious post. I found that he had put a GPS tracker in my car and he attacked my car (with me inside it!) in board daylight. He has also mounted a huge smear campaign against me with friends and family and on good old Facebook.
I’m now utterly no contact with him and he has not contacted me at all since the end of (month removed by moderator). However I did wonder how long should I keep the (numerous!!) abusive emails, texts, google documents (!), Facebook messages etc from him? I really want to totally clear him out of my life but I’m worried that if he comes back I will have to provide evidence of previous abusive behaviour.
I’ve logged everything with the police but their only advice was that I would know when the time came to get rid of stuff 😕
I’m sick of all this rubbish hanging around on my phone!!
Any thoughts?
Thank you lots xx -
3rd October 2018 at 3:21 pm #65048
Bright-star
ParticipantHi butterflylady,
Can you not print it all off and just keep it away somewhere? That way you’ll still have the evidence in case you ever need it and you can delete it all off your phone so not seeing it on a daily basis. If you do print make sure dates and times are in the prints too as sometimes they can get cut off and obviously it’s quite important. -
3rd October 2018 at 3:38 pm #65049
KIP.
ParticipantDefinitely keep all evidence. You could also email it to an account or a friends account to keep for future. Sadly these abusers have a habit of popping back up just when we feel secure. And solid evidence is what’s needed for action. He
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3rd October 2018 at 3:45 pm #65050
White Rose
ParticipantI agree. Keep every single thing.
I saved the several 1000 emails in a specific folder in my saved email section. Texts I screen shotted and shared with my email account and saved in same way (there were hundreds!!) It was time consuming and triggering but they’re saved where I eont look at them but can access.
I’m now at a stage where I can put away all my legal papers – I’m only going to keep decree absolute and the court rulings accessible the rest will go in sealed box in my loft. No wonder I’m so anxious with this task hanging over me. Maybe I’ll feel better when it’s done -
3rd October 2018 at 11:17 pm #65056
Butterflylady
ParticipantThank you everyone. That’s really helpful advice.
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4th October 2018 at 8:50 am #65061
survivorandproud
ParticipantIf you don’t want them on your phone put them on your laptop? Or send them to a friend account or make another email address like the ladies said. I’m thinking about doing this ASAP as I don’t want anything on my
Phone anymore. Best of luck x -
4th October 2018 at 11:27 pm #65104
Sunshine
ParticipantMy kept evidence has kept my daughter safe and got me a non harass order. I printed everything got him charged and the shierff granted him not a single more hour contact. So important to keep everything and especially text messages.
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