- This topic has 2 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 6 years, 1 month ago by freedomtochoose.
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4th November 2018 at 7:53 am #66539I.dont.know.Participant
After I managed to get free I couldn’t be the one to stop him seeing his kids I didn’t want them to miss out of having a father. Especially when my youngest cries for him all the time which is heartbreaking.
But hes just continuing to control my life through the kids, telling me he’s not giving me them back if im going out with certain people.Sending me countless messages telling me how I’ve ruined his life, how he has nothing how he cries himself to sleep every night, how he’s ready for slitting his wrists! Making out that I now have this perfect life coz I choose to leave etc.
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4th November 2018 at 9:13 am #66540FreedomwarriorParticipant
Omg 😮 this man is now playing the victim role because he feels he is loosing control . He has played the Aggressor role for so long and is now changing tactics in order to gain control then he will resort back to his original role . If you get chance please look at the relationship triangle on the Internet there are three roles Rescuer Aggresor and victim .I found it so informative and hopefully it will switch a light on for you as it did me .Your children are not pawns and you can see who you like . As for slitting his wrists he will never do that he is just trying to control you through blackmail .
You keep strong and carry on with your life .Dont engage with him . Just look out for your children.
Tc x
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4th November 2018 at 11:53 am #66544freedomtochooseBlocked
(Detail removed by Moderator)
Hope you don’t mind me being so blunt. Also sounds like you need an organised, boundaried arrangement in place for contact. He cannot and should not threaten you with not having your kids back. This is coercive control.He is not God and never will be.
I hope you grow stronger and get some advice from WA and Rights for Women.
As far as you seeing other people is concerned, as far as I am aware if he has parental responsibility he does have a right to voice views as to who your kids are looked after by. Especially if they are alone with the person. However the same goes the other way around. i.e that you can do this too.All about boundaries, not an easy ride. You may need to prepare for court. For some people it is a relief to get a court order – as if he infringes it then you can report him to the police.
good luck
ftc
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