Reported him for rape and sexual abuse

Thank you for sharing this here. I’m not really in head space to offer much right now but didn’t want to read and run. Sure other ladies will support. (Detail of local service removed by moderator). 
thinking of you. you deserve a medal
ftc
x

Hi Surviving,

I’ve reported sexual assaults and assault by penetration that my ex committed. This was some time ago and I don’t even know if they’ve spoken with my ex yet. Since I also reported many common assaults, some bordering on ABH (still to be determined), I don’t even know if they deal with it as a whole or if they’ve just decided to only go for the most recent assault and are waiting to see the outcome for that one. I am not sure. I really should follow up on it, but I don’t know who I am more frigthened of some days. The police or him.

Sorry, got sidetracked. I wouldn’t expect anything quickly being done about it, but unless you are frightened like me, I would try and arrange a weekly or bi-weekly update from the OIC to keep you informed. I will say I don’t think it is ever a waste of time to report it, even if it does not go anywhere, you have shown such bravery and courage in coming forward and telling them what type of evil this man truly is. In doing so, you have done what you could to try and protect others. Be proud of yourself for this, please.

Yep well done. Rape crisis were a great help. They have a helpline if you should need to speak to someone. It may be down to your word against his but at least he is on their radar for sexual assault which may help if other women have reported him too. My experience was he simply made no comment which is often what these men do. There simply wasn’t enough evidence but there lies the problem. They’re not going to sexually assault us in public. With witnesses but my conscience is clear. He’s not my problem anymore x

this sounds like a daft question but did you also let the police know hes looking for unsupervised contact and lots of it? i called 101 when i thought my ex was going to force contact – like you she really didnt want to go she was terrified. they were really keen to support me and also wanted me to get him on historical crimes. i made sure he new this threw one of the letters that went out and he backed right off.

the main fact here is men who sexually abuse their wifes/gfs tend to also abuse their children, sometimes there own but more often step kids xx thats something to consider – also more likely to be physically/ emotionally and verbally abusive x*x much love diy mum

I reported my ex for the same. It took a long time for me to fully understand what was going on. I often thought, oh I think he raped me. We had massive rows about his behaviour but I never spoke to anyone about it. I guess I was embarrassed and ashamed and didn’t know what to think or do. I also blamed myself. Rape Crisis has been brilliant and so has Victim Support and of course Women’s Aid.

Having been raped before by someone different I was always thinking, oh well he’s not doing this and he’s not doing that. I wasn’t paying attention to what he was doing. Yuck. It was horrible.

i am wondering can rape be proven through written evidence from a professional? as in if your given a diagnosis of PTSD say – can the therapist write down the reasons/specifically say due to sexual assault/abuse? is this proof? the thing i needed to prove was emotional abuse really and this was the only way i found to do that xxxx love diymum x

i know therapists are bound by confidentiality but i was told that confidentiality can be broken (only between professionals)if some one is at risk of harm. in my profession we do this xx much love diymum

i know official people can be scarey/daunting even and when weve lost faith we think god theyre just not going to listen. the truth is if he gets his way you stand to loose alot – so fight – demand that your heard – did the gp feel it was a safety concern and did they write a letter stating this if so? xxxx much love diymum

im not sure what hes been doing so really difficult to advise xx

(Detail removed by moderator). does he have a history of abuse against anyone else – will the police tell you if he has xx

im going off at a tangent again but it might be worth mentioning to the judge that there is an official review going through parliament right now. theyre going to stop unsupervised contact with people convicted of dv – id imagine if hes being investigated shouldnt contact proceedings be put on hold for now? do you represent yourself? or do you have a solicitor xx

They will have to investigate and speak to him. It might be that it boils down to your word against his. Just tell the police everything. I had prepared a statement first that I wrote and gave the officers. It gave them an idea of the sort of things that had been going on. Just in case you freeze on the day and it might be worth asking for female officers x