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Good morning… My husband went out with some friends and in the early hours brings them all back to the house, they wernt noisy but when i came to sit the children down for their breakfast htere are bits of drugs on the table. My husband is an alcoholic and drug addict..we have split many times and each time he persuades me back with promises to change..but im back here again. feel so rubbish. Ive recently lost a close relative so im trying to grieve, look after tow small children and deal with a jealous, controlling manipulative selfish partner who despite what he says only cares about himself. Im due to start training for my dream job soon im just waiting on some exam results so thats a positive but i feel he will sabotage it with his behaviour. i know i should leave but i feel so stuck in this life… im living a lie i dont love him anymore but he seems to have such a hold over me. Almost like trauma bonding..i dream of being free but its almost more comfortable and less scary to stick with the devil i know. I hate myself.
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Do you have support from your local women’s aid? You need help to escape from this kind to man. What he’s doing now is putting your children’s lives at risk. He won’t allow you to have your dream job. He won’t allow you to do anything that will bring you happiness and confidence and success. He will do everything he can to sabotage your future. If you’ve got rid of him before, you know you can do it again. This time go zero contact. He has crossed a different line now with no regard for your children. They look to you for protection and safety.
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you hate yourself because youve found your self in a situation that he has put you in. ive certainly felt this way like i didnt match up because we cant be the parents we want to be when we have others people tearing all this down again and again. you sound like you know what you want to do next career wise – use this drive to make a new start. without him you can do so much more. you can sort out child care and study. i did this it wasnt easy but i was able to be independent financially by getting a better job. its doable and also doable on your own. first step is getting your exit plan. what if one off the kids thought these drugs were some sort off sweety or sherbit – theyre innocent and dont know theyre relying on you to get them out off this situation. safety first for you all xxxx
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My ex is an alcoholic and I know how you feel. I had him back so many times. So many times he said he’d get help and I believed him. I so wanted it to be true. But at the end of the day, he didn’t care about me, working and worrying myself sick over paying the mortgage while he was unemployed and drinking most of my salary away. I despaired of how pathetic I was, keep letting him back home. But in the end I’d had enough and I’ve been free for a while now.
You sound like you’ve almost reached the point where you’re ready to go, so speak to Women’s Aid and keep posting on here. It’s not easy, but the relief of not living like that anymore is so worth it. Being able to spend a few pounds on myself (not a lot as he left me with a lot of debt) has been great. At one point, I wasn’t even sure if I could afford to put petrol in my car to get me to work all month.
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