Hi all new here x

This man is treating you bad and the only reason you are letting him do it is because you do not have the confidence to go alone.
Hes got you dangling on a string and he knows it,the more you allow him to get away with the more he will do it.
Get your self strong you are better than this,why do you want to be with someone who does not make you feel happy with your life .
Honestly you are better off without him,focus on you and making yourself the best person you can be,you will find much more happiness in that than he can give you.
Hope you get the strength you need.

this is how abuse affects us – all of the way he behaves is serving him only and your feeling all over the place. you probably are trauma bonded to him and this is generally happens to all off us in abuse. when we dont understand how it works its a real head wreck. i went through all off my 20s wondering things like when will he grow up? when will he treat me right? it wasnt in him. think of guys like this (abusive ones that is) they are like spoiled toddlers who are not emotionally developed enough to have good wholesome relationships. he wont change and thats really hard to absorb. have you read any off lundy bancrofts books? he explains how abusive mens minds work and it revels to you how to best deal with this situation. its a horrible position to be in but know this none of this is your fault hunny none off this is your doing or your responsibilty xx call the helpline when you feel your breaking down and come on here xx were here for you xxxx much love diymum

It’s going to be hard because of the abuse. Look at co dependency and trauma bonding. These men brainwash and programme us. We look to them for validation and self worth. Breaking that bond is hard. It’s like an addiction. The first while is painful and hard but the longer you stay zero contact, the easier you will find it becomes. Block his number and delete all his contact details. Don’t look at his social media and come off all your own social media. All contact is toxic. Get filling your diary with things you like to do. And be kind to yourself. Take things five minutes at a time. Then one hour at a time and so on x

its brain washing and the trauma bond these develop through the push and pull effect of abuse, being nice then going out and being a total b*****d. i was the same he did so many terrible things like you are dealing with and i was on my hands a knees begging him not to leave me. the thing is its no love its traumatic bonding xx its like addiction so you have to go no contact with him to make these feelings stop xx

I don’t know if this helps, I’m new here too but reading that is so familiar. My partner is constantly telling me how he is thinking about other women, looking at other women and putting me down about my “performance” and letting me know he wants to go elsewhere, including leaving me voicemails telling me that he is going to go with another women just now and it’s all my fault. The reality is he is almost passed out from drinking and no one would go near him in that state. But it makes me so insecure.
Im wondering if that is similar to things you have been told cause I think that is part of the brainwashing and mind games to plant that seed and make it seem like my fault (or yours for you)
I am the same when I try to leave him I think about him with other women and it makes me weak and angry.
I think that it’s about finding ways to be more confident in ourselves. I know that’s what I need to do to leave.
I hope this helps.