He is writing a journal too….!

My ex has done this but not in journal form though. It’s really horrible but we know the truth. Have you been speaking to anyone? X

You are not losing reality. He is. It’s quite convenient he has left this out for you to see. Control and manipulation. This is further evidence that he his not capable of taking responsibility and of the fact he probably can’t/won’t change.
Men like this often portray themselves as the victims. It protects them and their fragile sense of self.
My ex husband once asked why I bully him. In fact what he was referring to was me being firm with boundaries post separation. The fact of the matter was he had terrorised me for years. God only knows what he says about me. I know he blames me for his alcohol problems.
Build yourself up. Know your truth. Watch stuff on YouTube about domestic abuse. Educate yourself to the ways of these men.
So what what he tells his counsellor. They will have their own views. It’s not up to them to work out what’s true and what’s not. X*x

The counsellor might eventually realise that he’s lying. My ex went to counselling and blamed all of his problems on me, but she eventually realised he was lying and ended up diagnosing him with n**********c personality disorder! x

You shouldn’t have read it. Purely because it sounds like he left it there for you to read it. It’s another way of him manipulating and controlling you. Don’t get me wrong in the same situation I would have read it but he wants you to be at the end of your tether and what better way to do it than distorting truths that you’re finding it hard to accept anyway. He’s a monster! Counsellors and drs can tell the difference between someone who’s lived with abuse and someone who’s lived as an abuser. My therapist told me the way they sit and how they say things says a lot. I don’t know about you but I’m so unsure of myself I ask her at least once a week how she knows I’m not lying and I tell her twice as much that I’m not sure it even happened. Abusers never question what they say happened they think that because they’ve said these things people will believe them. He may go in and cry and blame you but I bet he’s never questioned if it was real or if his behaviour was the cause. Think of how many times he’s said his own behaviour was the cause of whatever he says you’re doing….i bet the answer is never. Don’t fall into his trap and try your best not to look at his fairy stories again. They’re his fantasies so he doesn’t have to face the reality of who he is. Don’t get sucked in, he’s always lied.

My heart sank when I read your post; ignore it, stay with your truth; there’s nothing to say this counsellor believes him, may or may not, any good therapist will pick up on these being his own projections sooner or later – depends on the counsellors approach, training and expereince really though. Either way she isnt going to be able to support him in a legal way; only give him a letter to say how many sessions he attended and when and that is it.

The fact he’s left it out leaves me suspicious, like he wanted you to see it – which is unerving isn’t it. My diary has been my secret evidence and backs up my statements and what happened and when. He’s either using this as something to use when the time comes – is being calculated or it is how he really feels and a good therapist will try and work with this – steer him in the right direction for healing, which is to own how he feels and not blame you or anyone else, take responsibilty.

As tempting as is it, I wouldn’t look at it again, but maybe keep your own along with all of his texts and emails, record the abuse if it is safe to do so – they always slip up with their lies at some point and this becomes clear x

Don’t accept at face value that he is actually saying this stuff to the counsellor. See if he will agree to you speaking to him or her. Or there is nothing to stop you writing to the counsellor. If he is really seeing one!

Yeah my ex had a sxxtty journal to write his ramblings too.
He also as having counselling because he was ‘suffering’. After counselling he would work himself into a towering rage and treat me toa barrage of potty mouthed verbal abuse.
He said his counsellor said I was awful lol.Unfortunately, most counsellors are not DV trained and tend to believe in joint responsibility.
He also made me go to Relate and it was the worst experience of my life. He told her I was abusing him and wouldn’t let him do what he liked. In point of fact he had been having sex with someone else. However, she was highly sympathetic towards him and I was not allowed to speak. He droned on for the entire sessions, lie after lie.I nearly fainted and it made me extremely ill.
It was disgusting. She was a stupid rubbish Relate counsellor and as ignorant as bottoms. She made him behave even worse by making him so entitled.
He will misrepresent to a counsellor every time. They are utter liars and in my experience most counsellors are not very well trained.

My ex tells everyone I’m an abuser, even after being convicted of assaulting me. He accused me of everything he did basically. And to be honest, I often thought he told those lies so many times over that he’d started to believe them himself.

I no longer believe anything my husband says or has ever said.
He constantly twists the truth, not downright lying just dramatising his version. I am accused daily of behaving in the ways that he has actually behaved. Unfortunately, some people will always believe the abuser. His cousin has actually said I was ‘mentally ill’ – I have no idea what he told her (and neither do I care). Of course it is hurtful – we don’t want others to think badly of us. I wonder if the abuser really convinces themselves that they are abused. It is only via forums like this that we can truly understand that the blame really does not lie with us.

I think deep down they are terrified of admitting or facing what they actually are or being outed as the evil monsters they are so they will go to extremes to justify their behaviour and move the spotlight from themselves both inwardly and outwardly. It’s important you do not get sucked into their delusional world. You know the truth and you hang onto that truth x

You also know his game and how it’s played. Knowledge Is Power x KIP