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So I decided to stay with my husband because he has started to change for the better he is currently attending a perpetrator program and has said he is remorseful for what he has done. I’m still in touch with women’s aid and attending the freedom program and another similar more in-depth program. It just feels like all these things are doing is trying to break us apart when things at home are good we are talking more than we have done in ages and listening to eachother is this what these programmes are designed to do drum Otto your head that they won’t change even when they already are changing. Should I have to break my family up when he knows what he has done was wrong and is trying to change.
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Hi there, I think the majority of abusers don’t change, but it can take years and years to undo all of his thought processes. Mine went to counselling, promised he’d change all I had to do was trust him. That’s something I cant do. Yes I did feel like you that maybe I was imprinting abusers behaviour onto him, that I was being brainwashed by the ladies trying to help me, but they weren’t. My oh just learned to change his tactics,it was like groundhog day. Take each day as it comes, you have things in place, you are learning what feels right and what doesn’t. You are listening to your gut instinct now aren’t you. Your husband may be the exception to the rule, I sincerely hope so. Abusers can go weeks, months even years without being abusive. The choice is always yours to make, noone here will judge you. Keep the lines of communication open. Keep journaling his behaviour including the good.if anything feels ‘off’ it’s because it is, it’ll be just too subtle to pinpoint.
Best wishes, I truly hope you are the exception to the rule.
IWMB 💞💞 -
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