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Finally he admits he doesn’t treat me right when I asked if he thinks it’s right the way he treats me. Shortly followed by an acuse of he just gets angry because everyone sh**s on him… so I just stay quiet as you do as why bother trying to get your point over with someone who is full of excuses. He followed by saying am I trying to get rid of him (removed by moderator). OMG this man will never understand what he has put me though yet he knows it’s wrong and still expects me to want to be with him!
So I’m going to try the Grey stoning today.
Let’s see what it brings. -
If he’s anything like my ex it will bring anger and aggression when he doesn’t get your attention so be careful. You’re wasting energy while trapped in this relationship with him. Start building an independent life with new hobbies and friends and a life away from the abuse. Slowly you will see just how destructive it is. Nobody in a respectful happy relationship should be looking at using these strategies. You’re treating the symptoms, not the cause x
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I find it difficult to live with him and continue to speak to him, an hour after we argue he will act like nothing has happened and expect me to be the same. He constantly asks if I love him and says he loves me. Obviously he sees I don’t and I can’t bare him keep asking. I just want to run away but can’t bring myself to leave as soon many people I will let down through work and the kids 🙈😞🤦♀️ Xx
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I’ve been where you are. Nothing you will do will appease him for long. He will just twist any answer. I told my ex many times I wanted him to leave and I told him I wanted a divorce and he threw the fact his mother had cancer in my face. Another time he said he had (removed by moderator). When I told him I’d didn’t love him anymore he said can we still have sex. He would abuse me terribly and prevent me from leaving then cry and beg and plead and I ended up consoling him. Engaging with an abuse will get you nowhere. Walking away with zero contact is the way to go. Try to think of the long game. Is there anywhere you can go for some peace. A friend or family member. It’s okay to get yourself out of there. Never mind what obligations you think you have. Your first obligation is to yourself to be happy and confident. Once you’re in a good place you can then help others x
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I’m going through similar. Married a man I met through family in Jamaica. Members of my family flew out there for the wedding and he was the first to get married in generations, they were so proud of him, marrying a British girl. He’s only been here a year but has been verbally emotionally abusive almost every week. He accuses me of dating, having sex with other men every time I go out without him in the evening. He says I give everyone more attention than him, if I don’t answer a voice note he either deletes it or uses it as an excuse to accuse me or cheating or ignoring him. He won’t leave me alone, if I want some quiet time he’ll keep coming into the room just to see what I’m doing. If I have a day off work, he will call several times or just turn up during the day. I’ve had enough!
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Well today he got up like nothing had been said (removed by moderator)!
and he is the same when on bad terms he will insist on sex as it makes him feel more secure 😫
Sometimes I feel like I start to get a bit stronger then I just hit a lead wall and can’t be bothered with anything anymore and wonder what is the point should I just continue to put up with this 😔 -
Having sex with someone you don’t want to is soul destroying. My ex used to make my skin crawl but I would give in to his demands to keep the peace. Abusive behaviour spilled into every part of the relationship. I lived a half life for decades and I’d urge you not to do the same. Like me one day you will see the light and regret staying as long as you did. You pay a huge price for staying and I decided that price was far too high x you need to build a network round to to escape. He’s hoping by keeping you worn down it will prevent you from seeing the light x try writing down the way you would like your life to be and see how close to reality that is. When we are depressed we can’t even think of positive things and our thought process goes from one bad thought to the next. That all changes when we escape. I now go from one positive thing to the next. I see positive everywhere. Even a challenge I see as how I can learn from it x
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KIP Thankyou
I don’t know whers to start what do you think best steps are, I know I need to contact woman’s aid but I’m scared, will they involve social services? I’m also scared of his reaction and that I know it will upset him, I don’t know why as I just do not like hurting anyone even though he has treat me badly.
I’m pretty sure at this moment I just want to be on my own. Make my own decisions for once in my life, I suppose watching close relitive die has also made me realise life is short and to be controlled and not aloud to do anytibg all of your life what life is it 🙄😳 xx -
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Women’s aid were great. They will just talk to you and offer you help with housing or anything you want. They won’t pressure you or force you to do anything but will support you. They gave me the book Living with the Dominator. It opened my eyes to what was going on in my relationship. After you understand abuse, you can make your own decision what to do. Once I understood that he chose to abuse me. He picked me apart piece by piece and tried to destroy me. There was no going back. I only regret not leaving sooner but I was trapped and saw no way out till I met women’s aid x
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I didn’t understand before
I knew things were not right but now the more I do read the more I realise and he will not change.
Iv told him I no longer what to be with him he is disregarding everything I say and just says he will change, then next day acts like nothing is different wanting to go out and do family things it is making me want to scream,
I feel like the only way out is to leave with my children and it’s so unfair as it’s easier for him to go,
He went round the children apologising for being a bad parent obviously in a bit to win them over and had eldest daughter in tears feeling sorry for him but Iv seen this many times before and this is why I put up with it so long,
I can’t even let him near me and yet he asks me if we doing anything today? Why would I even want to do anything with him!
Iv asked him to leave and it’s so difficult not to speak to someone that’s always there by second I do he thinks things are back to normal, 😔
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